The Santa Christmas stocking pattern goes toooooo...
AMY LANE! Whose winning entry is reproduced here in it's entirety:
The knitting Goddess got drunk one night from the dye they use to make that bunny-fur yarn, and started to giggle... "0 size needles? This wench wants to make a sweater out of 0 sized needles? When the whole world is knitting engorged dead dinosaur yarn on sized whoopty-twelve needles, she's knitting mutant sheep fur on sized 0 needles? This wench thinks she can outcrazy the most whacked out Goddess to ever loft a loop? I'll show her crazy...by pattern, needle, and holy wool, I'll show her f-ing crazy...SHAZAM. How's that Christmas stocking coming, sweetheart?" And then she laughed like an insane Goddess drunk on bunny-fur dye. Buuuhhaaahaaahaaahaaa. The End.
Honorable mentions go to Bells for stating the obvious - it's a bitch of a patern, and to MrsFife for coming up with an explanation I never thought of - I'm supposed to knit the stocking and the size 0 needle will appear inside.
Thank you all for the desperately needed laughs. Amy, e-mail me your address and I'll toss this baby in the mail to you.