So, while I've been hiding under the futon, I've been vegetating in front of the TV. And one of my favorite 'trash TV' topics is true crime/forensics stuff, also known around here as murdervision.
WHAT I HAVE LEARNED FROM WATCHING MURDERVISION:
-If you have such an unusual genetic profile that the technicians can recognize it at a glance and say "oh yeah, I saw that profile two months ago", you have no business committing crimes. Stay home and learn to knit.
-If you plan to go berserk in court and start screaming about how the police and lawyers are Nazis, and compare your trial to the Nuremburg trials, it would be wise to make sure the judge isn't Jewish, first.
-If you leave donuts and coffee for the police on your tail, they WILL track you down and find you, if it takes ten years and a fifty-man task force.
-If you're going to drive a hundred miles into the desert and spend days burning a body to get rid of it, make sure there isn't a one-of-a-kind, custom made bracelet with the victim's name on it, laying next to the body, when you leave.
-If you're going to leave tire tracks next to a body you've dumped, you might want to make sure you don't have four different kinds of tires on your vehicle. That's a little distinctive. The jury won't buy it, later, when you try to convince them someone ELSE in the county is driving around in a car with the same four odd tires on it.
-If you want the federal government to leave you alone, shooting three federal agents, while being videotaped, is not the way to go.
There you are. I'm sure all of us can use these tips in our everyday lives. Keep them in mind. Glad to be of help.