Saturday, November 15, 2008

Oh joy, oh rapture,

...oh, SHIT.

I'm on the next-to-last pattern section of the Shawl of Doom. Remember the other photo? I drew a little line on it to give myself a landmark.

See the dark red line at the bottom? Gives an idea how far I've got to go. Looks like a little bit, but I just increased to 1728 stitches per round (not a typo) and so it's pretty slow going. Still, I'm finally knitting something different, instead of thirty rounds of the same pattern repeat, so that's something. And I'm into the "I'm almost done" mindset where I go nuts and knit like a fiend. I got almost four rounds done yesterday, which is nothing short of miraculous. (Of course I didn't get anything else done - like blog posts - but let's not dwell on that.)

I'm making grocery lists and menus for Thanksgiving. We're having beef roast this year because I'm sick of making ham and turkey. Yum. And the husbeast for once isn't complaining about his lack of a ham. I think because he got a load of the roast and decided it looked pretty good.

Another reason I hate anonymous comments -- I can't answer them directly. The vast majority of my comments are either funny, or nice, or insightful. And some of them, I'd like to answer. Some of them I do. But obviously I can't track down the anonymous folks too easily.

Anyway, someone mentioned I discussed my health a lot (it was said nicely, and in a nice context, so let's not get all het-up, okay?) And I do. Part of the reason is for the same reason I talk about the Goob a lot: I use this blog as a journal to document things, and I know with reasonable certainty it won't disappear. You wouldn't believe the things I've lost in moves before. (Well, then again, you might.) Books in particular tend to poof on moves, so slapping stuff up on the internet is a better system.

I confess, though, one of the reasons I talk about my chronic pain problem is because I've got a small crusade going to educate the populace. It's wasted on 90% of you guys - at least - because you're nice people who REALIZE you can't judge another person unless you've lived their health problems. But still. I can't help it. Chronic pain is so misunderstood and we've got such a reputation as whining babies, that I can't resist shoving in some information when I get the opportunity.

So there you go, why I do it.

Well, that and sometimes I just can't shut up. But we knew that.

And in the 'too much information' department, the other day I asked the Goob if she'd pooed in her diaper during her nap. She said "Yes. An' then..." and went off on a really long, too-articulate description of... everything. I'll spare all of you guys the details here. As she went through her account of how her diaper got full, I stood there marveling at her vocabulary and wondering if a smart kid was really a good thing to wish for. (Just kidding. I'd rather the horrifying information dump than some alternatives.)

The Goob has officially hit that stage of childhood where they don't shut up for ten years. Gonna be a good time. When it started, I didn't say anything to the husbeast, to see if he noticed it. First weekend he was in charge of her, by the time I got up that Saturday morning, he wanted to know 'Does she ever shut up?' I told him yes. When she's asleep.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go knit. And make another trip to the grocery store. And knit. And, um, kick the shit out of some hobbits on my computer game. And knit.

Anyone in Charleston know a cheap place to get Fiestaware?


amy said...

Nicholas talked a little late (according to Some People, who I ignored, because I know my kid), but once he started, he just didn't stop. He has to narrate everything he does. He literally starts talking from the minute he wakes up and often talks himself to sleep. My older son was a quiet, introspective toddler, but he outgrew that. I have no idea where that quiet little boy went. His favorite time to chatter is once his brother is in bed and we're waiting for him to fall asleep so that we can send him to bed, too--in other words, in the evening, when I need quiet after a really long day, so help me god.

I also remind myself that it's better to have smart kids who know their own minds than docile sheep. Sure, the docile sheep sound like a better deal now, but in the long run? Not so good.

Barbara said...

You think the Goob talks alot? My daughter was so into talking and singing that once she turned 12 and was certified to scuba dive, if you swam close to her, you could hear her singing to herself underwater. Not that I didn't love listening to her, but really.

I don't mind your health/pain rants at all. They make me give my little aging aches and pains a whole lot less power in my life. So what if my knee/back/wrist hurts, fuck it, I'm walking, writing, knitting anyway. Don't get me wrong, I know when to take a break but I don't let it put me at a dead stop. Keep complaining, I love your blog.

walterknitty said...

For nearly 10 years I lived with someone who has psoriasis and severe psoriatic arthritis (his fingers eventually curled in and froze) I have a small understanding of what living with chronic pain is like. He eventually ended up getting pins in his fingers to try to straighten them out. Unfortunately, he is just starting to realize how important movement is. You knit, make ribbon baretts, spin, etc to keep your fine motor skills even though it can be painful. Unfortunately the person I lived with did not see any value in keeping mobile and only smoked lots of pot to deal with his condition and his body suffered for it. That has only just begun to change for him. Hearing you talk about your chronic pain, your doctor issues and incompetence, medication fine tuning, etc gives me more empathy and understanding for him. (I hope some of this makes sense, I feel like I'm just making long run on sentences) And it's interesting to see how different people deal with the same issue, chronic pain. Besides, I dont think many of us mind you talking about your health issues because you do so with humour. Even when it's irritating as hell.

Mandy said...

It's actually really nice to see other educated, involved patients/parents and hear their adventures in medical-land. My sister, and now my 8-year old niece, have had severe allergies to food and medications their whole lives (as well as other stuff - I still remember my little sister's battles with her eczema, which covered pretty much her whole body - we used to have to soak her socks off her feet because they would ooze so much).

Now the niece is MRSA colonized, and has a bladder infection, and the lab forgot to send in the urine specimin for culturing, so she had to go back to the hospital for more tests before they can start hunting for an antibiotic that she can take that might touch the infection yet won't send her into anaphylaxis. Your rants remind me that our family isn't alone, and sometimes spark insights that might help her deal with stuff. Keep it up!

Arianne said...

Hey...I'm the one who made the comment mentioned in the post today...I did it more because I'm still wary of talking about my own problems in public spaec. (Though I guess I just outed myself by posting totally um..unanonymously. Is that a word?)

I just want the other folks reading this to know that I meant the comment in a nice way. I appreciate you talking about your chronic pain, and your trouble with doctors and medications becuase although our health problems are wildly dissimilar, I think it's important for people who must be medicated to function, and people with lifelong conditions to speak out.

I'm just not sure I'm ready to go into the specifics like you are. I think that might make me a bit of a coward...but I still fear other people's reactions. (Which, if you knew me, you might find weird...because I generally don't care at all what people think...) was me. And I still mean it nicely.

Arianne said...

Obviously I can't spell space. Whoops.

Also I'm not sure I made it clear, but...anyway, like you I have a similar drive to make people understand what it's like to live like I do...but I'm not ready to do it.

But urgh, how can I say this without sounding total cheeseball Hallmark card...the fact that you DO talk about it helps me understand how other people deal with what must be similar stigmatisation and the good that can come from speaking out...and it gives me strength and help to make those steps myself.
I mean...I'm not commenting that's a step, right? I guess I'm trying to say thank you...because in helping yourself you're helping others as well.

Bells said...

Oh How I wish you'd captured the diaper discussion on camera but then that probably is far too much information.

I get the journalling idea. It's why I do a fair amount of gardening stuff. Sean's always on at me to start a written notebook of what happened when but I can't be arsed because I love pulling up a blog post and going, see! This time last year we did X,see!

I don't live with chronic pain and I know I don't get how awful it must be to have daily something that has so much negative impact on your life. I'm glad I don't get it but I think people who have it need way more sympathy than they ever get.

ps Sean says thanks for the anti-inflammatory stuff! ha ha

ellen in indy said...

i second arianne, though for slightly different reasons. i have osteoarthritis in both thumbs and wrists -- result of small hands gripping man-sized mouse 8-10 hours a day at work for beaucoup years. (i trained myself to mouse w/either hand to reduce repetitive stress, but it wasn't enough. finally got a trackball, but it's only slightly better.)

4 yrs ago, both thumbs splayed out and the two lower joints in each were almost immobile.

but i had a little grandgirl i wanted to knit for, so i said the hell with it -- i'm gonna knit anyway.

i knit continental, more or less. my left thumb is much better now -- not normal, but more mobile. right thumb, not as good, but a bit better instead of potentially a lot worse.

so i appreciate julie sharing what works for her in keeping her hands working.

also, my daughter has sinus hell and occasional migraines. i've had the former, but not the latter; now i understand her better, too.

i'd like to hear from spinners how spinning affects their thumbs, especially the right one. the second joint of mine turns out easily but doesn't turn inward. i need to find something that will make it turn in -- gently at first -- to rehab it.

and if anyone else has ideas, please share. if they work, i'll be very grateful. if they don't, i will have ruled out another idea --sorta like edison trying hundreds of possible filaments before finding one that worked well for light bulbs.

Anonymous said...


I comment anonymously because I can't get into my blog since I changed over to google. Grrr. I suppose I should just make a new blog, but that would involve work.

I like the idea of tracking your life, and goob's. I don't mind your medical stuff--plus I think keeping a dialogue of it will help to keep you sane. Ha.

Another fine motor thing that's fun is Guitar Hero. I try to play it a lot (I have lupus, as Julie knows, and I deal with arthritis pain.) It really helps with fine motor skills, like playing any instrument. I can play it left or right handed, so both get a work-out.

Ha on Goob talking. There are days when DD would talk, sing hum all day. Then she complained, "I have a headache." I was like YEAH, you've yammered since 7am, I have a headache, too.


Amy Lane said...

Ladybug hasn't stopped talking in two months. Gets very noisy in here...

And the shawl makes me want to weep for you!!! I don't mind when you talk about your health--it honestly keeps reminding me that I am the one in charge of my health--considering all of the bad doctors I had in the delivery room, this is something REALLY IMPORTANT to remember.

Emily said...

I get a lot out of your medical posts, too. That you can keep your sense of humor amazes me; I'm certainly not like that when I'm ill! Thank God for the people who love us....and thank God also for young children & the funny things they say & do! Reminds me that life is good. (Someone must sit there making up verification words while howling with glee...mine is "horsh".)

Alwen said...

Good heavens, I'm glad Helmut didn't reach out and grab me!

Before we were parents, we used to joke that if we had a kid, with our luck he'd be like Calvin in Calvin & Hobbes. This turns out to be a lot less funny when it's your real life.

Catie said...

does she talk in her sleep yet? i think you've got a good blend of things on this blog. i don't comment often but i read every post. i like how i don't always know what is coming and i like the knowledge you share with the rest of us.