Saturday, June 23, 2007

My child is two.

She has pulled the needles out of my knitting three times in two days. She has poured Dadad's soda over the recliner. She has flung more toys than I can count. She whines, she stomps, she bites. She is a slavering beast who runs lawlessly through the house, and nothing, not a damn thing I do, makes a difference.

There's a down side to raising a secure child who knows they are loved. That's the downside. You can't SCARE THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF THEM UNTIL THEY BEHAVE.

We've tried sitting on the couch with no cartoons and no toys. We've tried no cartoons in general. We've tried taking the toys away. We've tried exile in the crib. Hand smacking, lectures, calm explanations. Nothing works.

And then, just when I'm ready to kill her, she does this:


The other night, Sekhmet was heard crashing around in my office after an ominous skittering noise. Unfortunately, there is no tile floor in my office to create those types of noises. When I went in to investigate, I found a moth the size of my hand, fluttering against the wall. Have I mentioned I have a moth phobia? Anyway, it's dead now, and I didn't scream or throw up.

Then today, Sekhmet spent an hour in the dining room, killing a Cherrio. I really wish she'd make up her mind.


The new camera is finally here. The old one only did 2.1 megapixels, and this one does 5.3, so all else aside (it's got some fancy options on it), odds are good I'll be creating better photos. It came with a mini tripod, and the baby's been trying to get her hands on it. When the husbeast told her it wasn't a toy, she gave us this look back that said "I bet it could be a toy. Let me have it, and I'll show you."

I've been playing around with it, taking detailed photos, since that was the idea, to take knitting photos for articles. So far, so good.

So now I can retake all these lace photos and then resubmit the article to Knitty for Winter. Since I'm going to knit a lace doily for that wedding coming up in August, I think I'll take photos as I go and do a quickie how-to to add to the article.


There was a question in the comments about 'knitting thimbles', and whether they were useful or just gadgets.

Well, if it's useful, it's useful, though it seems like more trouble than it's worth, to me. (The idea is to thread your yarn through the loops and use it to keep track of your yarns when doing stranded color.) If you've got ten functioning fingers, I don't see why you'd need it, but many of us don't have the luxury of ten working fingers so... if it works, it works.

Still think it's easier to just run the yarn between your fingers, though.


Anonymous said...

God help you! Alexa turned hit the terrible two's at 20 months. It continued until she was 5. Like I said, God help you.

Trish J.

Bunny Queen said...

I don't have kids, but I do have bunnies and they are sort of always 2 years old. "What do you mean I'm not supposed to dig in the litterbox and fling poop across the living room?" "Don't chew on our cage? But it's FUN!"

Then they stop when you discipline them. Until your back is turned, when they start up again. *sigh*

Amy Lane said...

buwahahahahahahaha...*sob* Yeah. I can't really laugh at your misfortune when I'm about to live it for the fourth sorry... (at least she's adorable... and that is one SPANKIN' camera...)

Bells said...

When did she turn two? Where were the birthday photos? Or is she about to turn 2?

Damn cute kid. That's nature's way of keeping them alive, I'm sure.

Welcome to the world of new cameras. Fun fun fun!

Jejune said...

They always manage to look incredibly cute and adorable just when you're about to do your worst...

You probably don't want to know that the Terrible Twos are followed by the Abominable Threes (I couldn't find a word meaning unspeakably awful starting with 'Th'...). But after that they generally become quite lovely little people :)

Aaaah, aren't new cameras FUN? Have fun playing!

Alwen said...

The Discipline Book by Sears & Sears, is pretty good -- these are people who had 7? 8? kids of their own, so it's not all theoretical. They've been there, multiple times.

My mom used to say, "You need love the most when you're acting the most unlovable." (Which applies to me, as an adult, too!)

Love that picture of Kid-in-a-Box. Aren't new cameras fun?

Donna Lee said...

My third child just graduated high school and the relief is unbelievable. Someone once told me that children become quite loveable and human after about 21... but I remember some times before that that were fun (or am I manufacturing memories?). All kidding aside, I am extremely fortunate. All I had to say when they were little (and it still works now) was "I am so disappointed" and they were so upset that they stopped whatever they were doing. No, I don't think I am really that intimidating but my feeling is, if it works, don't knock it!

Roxie said...

"I bet it can be a toy." Now isn't that a wonderful attitude to carry into adult life? She just neeeds to learn to respect other people's property. I hope you live long enough to enjoy it.

That peek-a-boo theough the box is enchanting.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the weird-gadget-explanation, Julie! :)