I'm afraid the story isn't nearly as good as the ones your imaginations have cooked up, but here you go.
Thursday night/Friday morning, the baby woke up at 1:30 am and whined hourly thereafter. I didn't sleep much and eventually got her up at seven and fed her, etc. I was dreaming of sending her off with her grandparents while I got a nap in. They were going to go to the pool, so I got The Baby all dressed in her swimsuit and was about ready to load her up when she peed all over the bed. So even though I got her out of the apartment, I had to nap on the couch that's too short for me and it didn't go very well.
I don't know what I planned on taping up, even. Just that I wanted her immobilized and quiet.
Needless to say she's fine now. Spent most of yesterday sleeping off her whining fit, and just got back from a restaurant where she charmed everybody and was a good little kid. She even ate green beans. (Though she preferred the Bailey's Irish Creme cheesecake, just like her ol' mum.)
This trip to Florida seems to have recovered my knitting mojo; I'm really enjoying the shawl and not loathing the sock. When I get home I plan to finish the steeked jacket once and for all.
Hope everyone else is having a lovely weekend.