Monday, April 07, 2008

Death to princess potties.

And the husbeasts who buy them.

When I got pregnant, I swore I would NOT NOT NOT turn into the type of mother who tells everyone in hearing all the gory details of their child's potty training. So I'm not gonna.

I'm gonna bitch about the motherfucking princess potty.

The husbeast went out and bought this damn thing (though he didn't pay near that ridiculous price for it) when we started the inevitable process with the Gooob. Can he get something servicable? NO. He gets something full of princesses and pink plastic with glitter. So not only do I have to deal with the usual issues of accidents and the constant questions about bodily functions, no, I ALSO HAVE TO DEAL WITH SCREAMING TEMPER TANTRUMS BECAUSE I WON'T LET HER PLAY WITH THE PRINCESSES. She wants to drag the damn thing all over the house. I'm making her leave it in the bathroom.

Fucking princess potty. There oughta be a law.

-... -

Due mostly to the above issue, I've been knitting on the zen sweater as if my life depended on it. Zen good. Zen so good, I may knit another one when I'm done with this. I finished up the body (to the arm pits) and am now halfway up one of the sleeves:

If I can squeeze both sleeves out of this ball of yarn (and things are looking good), I will have enough yarn to knit this in one color, and can do a raglan, which is what I want. We'll see. This knitting has gone so smoothly and wonderfully, I'm considering dumping the Newgrange idea for my mother-in-law's Christmas sweater (this is how it always goes, when it comes to doing my own designs), and instead spinning some of this fiber and knitting something more Zen-like from White Lies Designs. I'm quite attracted to the jacket shown on the home page, and think it would look good in a tweed similar to the peacock stuff I'm knitting now, except maybe in shades of brown and coral.

This means if and when I ever get to Newgrange, I can keep it for myself.

Still not sure what I'm gonna do, I'm going to finish the Zen sweater and the Russian prime are done before I make a decision. Maybe I can knit my father-in-law's sweater while I'm thinking about it.

Anyway. Zen knitting, good. Princess potties, bad.


MLJ1954 said...

My kids potty chair ended up in the kitchen. My fault. I admit it. I just hated having to spend HOURS in the bathroom, sitting on the floor, the toilet the countertop . . . for wherever the kid was pooping, mommy had to be . . . and hence, the potty chair ended up in the kitchen (until company came and it was amazing that we didn't have that much company during the horrible years). Oh, and to make it really bad, my kids are now 22, 14 and 7 . . . and they all ended up with the damn chair in the kitchen!

April said...

We have that pattern at the store, let me know if you want me to send you a copy.

I'll trade ya for a princess potty.


ang said...

ok I'm concerned....what have you done with my Stebes and how did you let that pepto bismal princess gizmo in your home! Now if it came with a crown then maybe...I think a visit up north is in order.

Amy Lane said...

I have bought three potty seats and have ended up potty training them on the grown-up potty. I'm with you, dude...fucking useless pieces of fucking plastic!!!

(I'm also with you on the Zen's why I"m so hooked on the plain vanilla sock... around and around and around...Zen knitting good... Princess potties bad...

Kim said...

Thank you. I have not laughed this hard in a while.

Tina - omme i London aka teeweewonders said...

Potties are SO GROSS and people insist on putting them in the most inappropriate places,like NOT in the bathroom... YUK, what's wrong with the loo?

As for Zen - zen is good, really good. :)

Alwen said...

Every time I start to feel all self-pitying about no more babies, boo hoo for me, someone will come along with something like this.

No more potty training, woo hoo!

At least it's not the butt-pinching folding potty seat! Talk about training the kid to not want to sit there.

historicstitcher said...

So glad I had a boy! No princesses!!!!

On the other hand - boys potty train later, and he was in diapers until three and a half. Blah!

We had a primary-colored plastic thing, and while I hated it in the house, it was awesome on road trips for the inevitable "I gotta go NOW" that happens 50 miles from the next rest stop!

Roxie said...

That yarn is working up sooo beautifully! Bravo, bravo!

Donna Lee said...

We had a plain potty chair and the girls still wanted to play with it. I stopped using it and put the seat on the regular toilet seat and just put a stepstool in front of the toilet for them. So much easier to clean up. And I would take the plastic seat everywhere so they could just use whatever toilet (within reason) was closest. I kept telling myself "Most children are potty trained by the time they go to college".

marcia said...

I tell you what is equally bad is Princess and Dora underwear. My grandaughter is being potty trained and she is the same way as Goob. But she runs around yelling I can't pee on the Princesses or Dora. Its making my poor daughter in law a little nuts, plus add in the factor of renovating their house. I think she has a permanent vodka and tonic attached to her hand these days. Just glad my days like that are long gone! Best wishes to you and yes husbeast needs to stay at home for a weekend while you go to a nice spa to relax.

Anonymous said...

I love your crabby side. Remind me to send you more pretty princess items!

The Zen knitting is GORGEOUS! What's the difference in the shoulders? Could you give me a tutorial? I get them confused. And I never know what's better for me.