Friday, April 13, 2007

This isn't boring. Damn it.

Regular readers around here will know, I shoot for 'boring' as a standard of living. Excitement in my life always involves nasty things (seven-thousand-mile moves, deathly illness, all that major life moment shit) and so I prefer days full of nothin'.

Unfortunately I'm not getting nothin' for the next little while.

I'm trying to figure out exactly how to tell this, because the root of the annoyance goes back FIFTEEN YEARS. I suppose the beginning is a good place.

So. Fifteen years ago, the husbeast and I were married. He was military at the time, had been in about three years, so I knew what I was getting into. After a year of watching women raise children on their own while thier husbands were out to sea, and after watching the men come home and their own chldren not recognize them, I decided we would wait until the husbeast's last assignment - at which point my reproductive system should be on it's last gasp - and we'd have a kid. His last assignment was supposed to be shore duty, so he'd be home the whole time. Then he'd retire. So the kid would have a father. This was a good plan. In retrospect I'm thinking it over and even in hindsight, I agree with the decision and think it's a good plan. I followed it. (The Baby was planned - only a couple months off the Master Plan, which is amazing given 36 year old ovaries were involved.) All went just as I wanted, the husbeast and The Baby are together, and I've been congratulating myself for having the smarts to plan this at the age of 23. Except for one tiny little thing.

THE FUCKING GODDAMN NAVY CHANGED THE RULES.

Oh yes. It turns out the shore duty will be shorter than it's supposed to be, and the husbeast has to finish out his time in the Navy with two years of sea duty (being assigned to a ship or sub and going wherever it goes). In practical terms, this means we're going to move some time in the next nine months. Of course we have no idea where yet. (This was all broken to me the night before last. I'd known it was a possibility, but not that it was absolutely going to happen.)

Best case scenario, we go back to Hawaii. There is a FAINT possibility this will happen. Faint, but just possible. Even as a best case, it isn't that good - if I go back to Hawaii I'll have a hard time leaving again (I can easily imagine chaining myself to a bigass lava boulder on the N Shore). And it will be seven thousand miles from the in-laws, so The Baby will lose touch with her grandparents. Guam is also possible. Hahah.

More likely best case scenario, we get moved to Virginia or San Diego. I hate Virginia, San Diego's too far away, but Virginia's good in terms of being close to the family for support while the hubby's away.

Worst case scenario? The hubby gets posted to the George Washington (an aircraft carrier) in Japan. He goes to Japan, The Baby and I go to Ohio or Connecticut and I go to school and the Baby sees her dad for a total of maybe four months for the next two years. Considering this is exactly what I was trying to avoid when I waited until I was 37 freaking years old to have a kid, this idea pisses me off beyond words. (There is also the option of moving to Japan with him - which would mean I would be alone and raising a kid in a foreign country, because aircraft carriers are often out to sea nine months a year. We still wouldn't see him.)

So. That's what's going on around here. I'm sure you'll all get to hear more long rants on the topic, as needed. Haha.

Here, the Baby says, "This sucks!"

24 comments:

an said...

That does suck. It sucks hugely.

*hug*

Sarah said...

I'm so sorry to hear about this, things like this make me happy that my Hubby isn't in any of the Armed Forces. Keep strong, we've got your back.

PS My babies have the same pj's as your munchkin.

CoffeeLady said...

Damn... this is down right depressing!! Thats the navy for you! I hope the best case scenario happens. I'm with the baby on this one "THIS SUCKS!".

amy said...

I'm sorry, that does suck. Any chance of meeting some other Navy wives and small kids in the same boat? (sorry, pun not intended there)

I hope it works out as best as it possibly can.

Laural said...

Damn this sucks for you and your family! I'm not even going to try and imagine what you are going through, because I never would be able to. I hope for the best case scenario for all of you!

debsnm said...

FREAKING MILITARY!!! I used to work for them, and watched this happen all the time - never, EVER plan, cause they'll fuck it up every time! On the upside (if there is one) there's a huge navy community in VA. But VA sucks just on general principles!

MrsFife said...

Wow! I thought it was only here the navy did such things...It's been 7 and 1/2 years since I married into it and I'm only now trying to build a whole life in such a way it wouldn't be affected by the organisation.

Alwen said...

grf. Sorry to hear that. [[hugs!]]

Terby said...

That's the very definition of suck.

JessZ said...

stupid navy! I hope the silver lining to this mess shows up soon!

Catie said...

I'm sorry for you three. More than that I don't know what to say.

Laura said...

Ugh, that's grim!

If the worst case scenario does happen though, I understand that Japan has amazing craft stores... you'd be in close proximity to lots of Noro... it's meant to be great for people with allergies... you'd never have to roll your own sushi.

And there are a bunch of great knitbloggers.

But I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the best case scenario!

Brewgal said...

Man, that really sucks! None of the alternatives sound really good. We're here for you!

Bells said...

how unsettling, to say the least. I'm glad to see the baby gets what's going on.

You know, on the upside, isn't Guam (if that happens) closer to my part of the world? I could come visit! :-)

Actually i don't think it's that close at all is it?

Well, you try and plan and life just throws stuff at you. Big, big bummer. Keep us posted. What does the husbeast make of it all?

Tactical Grace said...

Thanks for letting me know what I'm getting myself into, lol.
I signed up fo rthe Navy, I go to boot camp on oct 2nd, and probably around the time you're packing up, I'll be sent to Charlston for Nuke school (apparently I'm intelligent, who'da thunk it?). If, on the off chance I meet some guy with the name "Theaker" on his chest, I promise to openly gawk at him, and if I get the chance, I'll ask if he's the husbeast. With luck, around his buddies.

Of course, this is entirely unlikely, but if I've made you smile, then I think Ive helped.

dawn said...

*hugs*
that's really crap
If he's going to be away so much would you be better to be near the in-laws?
fingers crossed for it all working out - preferably by the rules changing again

NeedleTart said...

If it's any consolation (I know, not possible) The Husband was planning to retire from his cushy government job in 2014 or so. The present regime decided that air traffic control (over our cities! #$#@%$%^%ers) is best provided by the highest bidder from the private sector. TH is now looking for work.....somewhere.....

Amy Lane said...

Aww man...that is some serious suckage... for him too, I'm sure. #$%^ing Navy... (the good news is the internet...no matter where you move, we'll be here...small comfort, I know, but it's what I've got...)

Jejune said...

Very crap :( Best laid plans and all that... I'd avoid Japan if it comes to that - a friend whose hubby is in the embassy game hated it so much she came back to the USA while he worked in Japan. Once a gaijin (foreigner) always a gaijin...

We do the academic career run around, and it's pretty tough on families, although not as extreme as the military life. I raised both our kids mostly single-handed while hubby did his PhD. And when he goes overseas to conferences and work, sometimes for months at a time, yeah, it's Single Mum time again. Boring is my goal in life too... and it rarely happens. The only thing I can rely on is chaos and change!

(((hugs)))

Suzann said...

Ahh well, my husband was in Vietnam while I was pregnant. He came home and we went to the hospital to deliver the bundle of joy. I wish you could have seem his face. When he left I looked normal, when he returned I looked the the rear end of a dump truck. We have been stationed, Long Beach, San Diego, Charleston, Rota Spain and Norfolk Virginia. I liked Virginia so much we are still here after he retired. The people are so friendly. I have no idea what I would have done, alone with a child in a body cast without my neighbors.
Enjoy the adventure :-)

Teresa said...

Julie, that is rotten!
On the upside, your loyal blog-readers will follow you to the farthest corner of the earth. The Internet can stretch 7,000 miles with room to spare.

Becka - The Knitting Wounded said...

Baby is right, that does suck. Can you go to the Navy and tell them that you have to be able to go too? Think of all the fun ailments you can collect at sea!

Louiz said...

hugs, that sounds bad. Am trying to send you good thoughts, hope it works.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry this has happened. Don't know what to say, but I'll send you good vibes and hope that the best case scenario occurs! I'm moving to the UK in 4 weeks for my husband's job - I eat antacid for lunch and dinner and I'm not faced with my husband leaving for months to go to sea once we get there. I hope things work out for you.

-Jennifer