Quote meme!

Okay, I've been thinking of this one for quite some time and yet again I've NOTHING to blog about, so here we are.

Here's the deal: I'm giving situations common in stories, and you list all your favorite quotes from those situations. Do not limit yourself. Movies, books, TV shows, old legends. Heck, if you can find a real-life situation like these and know a quote you like, throw it on out there. No limit on the number of quotes, and if you can't think of one, just skip on to the next item. I fear I will be long-winded, personally. Throw in whatever attribution it takes for the rest of us to know where it came from. (Wikiquote is good for this stuff. FYI.)


At the start of the quest, the hero/heroine/protagonist says:

"And this is the best that you-that the government, the US government could come up with? I mean, you're NASA for crying out loud, you put a man on the moon, you're geniuses! You're the guys that're thinking shit up! I'm sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up and somebody backing them up! You're telling me you don't have a backup plan, that these eight Boy Scouts right here, that is the world's hope, that's what you're telling me?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, Jesus." --Armageddon

"Although always prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it should be postponed. " --Winston Churchill, about going to military school

"I aim to misbehave." --Serenity.

"I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees." --Major League

"Oh I know what y'all really want is some gross, caricature of a woman to prove some idiotic point that power makes a woman masculine, or masculine women are ugly. Well shame on you for letting a man do that, or any man that does that. That means you, dear. Miss Marshall. Shame on you, you macho shit head." --Tootsie

"Well, without disappointment, you cannot appreciate victory."
"Did Eleanor tell you that?" --Gone in 60 Seconds

"Well, then, I confess. It is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weaselly black guts out." --Captain Jack Sparrow

"You can be my Spunky Girl Sidekick. I'm fresh out at the moment. Release me and we'll blow up the Baron's Dirigible of Doom, escape by the skin of our teeth and then it's cocoa and schnapps all round!" --Girl Genius, web comic



**After all hell breaks loose, there is a beat of silence. Then the protagonist/hero/heroine says:

"Snakes. Why did it have to be snakes?" --Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost Ark.

"The whole world's going to hell, you gonna just sit there?" --Wolverine, X Men 3.

"Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker." --Die Hard.

"...this is my house, and I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberment." --The Mummy Returns

"Oh, I'm sorry, was that your auntie?" -- Men in Black

"How did you solve the icing problem?" --Iron Man

"I've got two girlfriends in the bar."
"They have 50 armed men."
"I know. It hardly seems fair." --Charlie's Angels II


**After a declaration of love/admiration/respect, the reply is:

"You're so cute."
"Women don't wanna be cute. We wanna be exotic and mysterious." --Bull Durham.

"I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is that so wrong?" --Working Girl.

"The first boy I ever kissed wound up in a coma for three weeks. I can still feel him inside my head." --Rogue, X-Men, first movie.

"I love you."
"I know." --Princess Leia and Han Solo, Empire Strikes Back (it's a classic for a reason!)

"I dwell in darkness without you!" --Willow




**Then the villain says:

"I will know your blood, Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice... and drink deep." trips and falls into an open grave "Ow!" --Spike, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!!" --Phineas and Ferb

"This is a good death. There's no shame in this, in a man's death. A man who has done fine works. We're making a better world. All of them better worlds." --Serenity

"Me, I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid." --Captain Jack Sparrow


**General snappy comebacks and one-liners:

"...a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing..." --Thomas Jefferson

"So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem."
"Really?"
"We'll have to call it "early quantum state phenomenon". Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat." --Firefly

"That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you're so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can't remember what happens next." --Color of Magick