Thursday, March 26, 2009

I married a lunatic, part, uh, next.

Yes, yes. I know the greatest proof that the husbeast is insane is that he married me. That's kind of the humor of it, I hope.

So. The husbeast is a knife geek. He carries them, he collects them. And he buys them for me and the kitchen. Previous posts include the story of the Girl Knife (still carrying it daily), and my 40th birthday gifts of a backup girl knife and a boning knife. I could take apart a T-Rex with that boning knife.

A few years back, with the Goober on the loose, I asked the husbeast for some junk knives. You see, all the knives in the kitchen were super-good high carbon steel and needed proper care (instant cleaning, drying, and replacement in the knife block). I wanted something that was crap, that cost a couple bucks, that I could leave laying around with food stuck to it, or fling in the sink to clean later and not care. I wanted these, because with the Goob, I was CONSTANTLY cutting stuff up for her to eat.

He went out and got me some junk knives. (They weren't really that junky.) And I used and abused them, cutting up bananas and peanut butter sandwiches. The other knives were for things like mincing garlic and dismembering chickens and cutting up pot roasts. Then there were the junk knives for slicing hot-dogs. It was all going smoothly, I thought.

Silly me.

I noticed the husbeast was sharpening them more than usual, and muttering that they wouldn't keep an edge. I pointed out you could probably slice a banana with a crowbar, but he didn't care. The junk knives were driving him insane.

So he replaced them.

See those? THEY ARE CERAMIC. CERAMIC KNIVES!!!! Okay, the one on the left is a really nice santoku, but the rest are ceramic. These are the exact OPPOSITE of the concept of 'junk knife'. CERAMIC!!! MY JUNK KNIVES HAVE BEEN REPLACED WITH HIGH-TECH INDUSTRIAL CERAMICS!!!!

Some morning, I'm going to accidentally lop off a finger, slicing a banana with a ceramic knife while half awake. Or drop one and break it into a thousand really sharp little bits. While I'm barefoot.

Ceramic knives. Oy.

11 comments:

MagicChupacabra said...

OOOOOOO I wanna play with the Ceramic knives....

Bells said...

And what a fabulous lunatic he is. I want ceramic knives. If they are as life changing as the ceramic hair brush I got, then oh boy!

TinkingBell said...

I want ceramic knives - and a knife junkie hisnabd. Who knits.

Hey - you can get silicone `knive' and those suckers can be thrown in the sink and still cut a timtam in half!

(and my security word is `baglickr' - WTF?)

Malin said...

Way cool! I didn't know such a thing existed

Leonie said...

I want a lunatic like what you've got...mine provides me with computers but I have to buy my own knives...sniff!

Emily said...

What a lovely husbeast! And you are so lucky.

Re "junk knives"...I bought dishes, etc., at the flea market to save myself from heart attacks when the kids lost things in the yard. Boy, did they lose things in the yard. When I was burying my cat a few weeks ago, I found a tablespoon. Somewhere out there are endless hammers.

Donna Lee said...

Ceramic knives are so cool. The idea of it fascinates me. Who thought of them, who makes them, what do they feel like, how strong are they? I am very tactile and I want to touch them.I guess I'll go to the gourmet store and see if I can touch one. So, now I'm a knife stalker.

Jen Anderson said...

Ay yi yi. I have a set of Henkels knives that have tiny serrations so they never need to be sharpened and can tolerate sitting around dirty.

Though for cutting soft things like bananas and PB&Js, a plain old table knife ought to do the trick.

Roxie said...

He's a totally edgy dude, isn't he? Did he get rid of the junk knives or can you still use them? Slicing a banana with a ceramic knife seems wrong somehow. Overkillish, if you know what I mean. Like using a laser to bisect that pbj.

Amy Lane said...

ooooomy.. watch out for those phelange dismembering banana knives... they're skeeery!

Alwen said...

I just married a game lunatic. One knife geek (one of my brothers) is enough!