Friday, January 11, 2008

Remember that crazy guy I married?

Well. The Goober's been kinda sick the last couple days. Nothing major, just some minor bug I think she picked up running around Florida. She'd had a slight fever for the last couple days; I'd been dosing her with Motrin and watching the whole situation, and I thought the fever had broken yesterday afternoon. So, last night, when the husbeast came to bed, I asked if he'd checked the Goober's fever. He said "How am I supposed to do that??" I offered the obvious "Lay a hand on her head and see if she feels hot."

Is that good enough for Son of Gadget? The man who spends his days measuring things by thousandths of an inch? Hell no.

Out he goes to the garage. (I'm laying in bed, thinking "WTF?") I hear him come in and go to the Goober's room. Then he comes back to ours, and next thing I know a red laser is being shot into my eyes. (In the dark. OW.) That's when I realized what he was doing.

He'd gone out and gotten his infra-red themp gauge (with a laser to see exactly where you're 'shooting' it), went in, and 'shot' the Goob on the forehead. When he got a temperature, he realized he didn't have anything else for refrence, so he 'shot' himself, and then me. We were all within two degrees temperature, so he decided the Goober's fever was still down.

I laid in bed and wondered, again, just what in hell I'd gotten into when I married this guy. And tried not to laugh.

Oh, he also 'shot' Sekhmet. She's twenty degrees colder. We assume it's her fur insulating her.

-... -

So, I've been catching up on blog reading (those of you who got comments today, I hope you didn't keel over at the shock of it), and I encountered this article:

The five best foods that will kill you.

Those foods, for the curious, are Eggs Bennedict, Buffalo Wings, Cuban Burgers, Poutine, and the Cheeseburger Double-crust Pizza. Fine, that makes sense, but head over there and actually READ it. It's a hoot. To give you a taste, this is what he says about the pizza: "Letting your child order this pizza will probably lead to him being air-lifted out of bed on a future episode of Jerry Springer."

Great writing. Lots of laughs. Get on over there.

-... -

Oh, and my new meds are kicking in, and I'm feeling better. (It's odd. I feel WAY better, but still feel like shit - it's just now hitting me, how bad things were.) I bet you guys hadn't noticed.


debsnm said...

At least he's imaginative! Get him one of those ones that goes in the ear - sort of geeky cool.

Bubblesknits said...

That's hilarious! Although, my husband says that it's freakin' genious. I think he's considering it.

Bells said...

oh that is so good. What a guy. Never half doing anything, by the sounds of it, when you can go all out. Champion. Off to read the food stuff.

Pearls Mother said...

Men really do live in a parallel world,
how will he cope with the Goober's teenage years/
Glad you are feeling better.

Amy Lane said...

That's hilarious...and you know, maybe Sekhmet was colder because she has a frozen, black heart.'s probably the fur! (Glad you're feeling better...hope someday soon you're actually feeling GREAT!)

Roxie said...

Man is a tool-using animal.. Your man is a power-tool-using animal. I am wondering what he would have done had he not had one of those wonderful devices in the garage.

So glad you are feeling better. Keep it up! Also glad the Goob is improving. Lots of rest and play for both of you!

Jacquie said...

O.K. ...I'll admit to thinking we share the same DNA as men. So I showed my male partner your post and he thought that was an obvious response to the issue. Go figure ...blokes are strange creatures full stop.
I think the cat makes more sense on any given day.
Thanks for sharing your medical condition with us. I googled it to find out what ect. I am also aware of how many times you have made really great choices for yourself considering you don't have a medical degree....well not on probably just about qualify.Your intelligence and intuition regarding yourself is awesome. My 2008 wish for you is to work with medical professionals who listen. Happy New Year.

Louiz said...

*Snigger* Had a big discussion with himself yesterday re lighting farts - which I claimed was a pointless thing I had never thought to do, and he claimed was something that everyone had to do. And that he had thought he didn't know anyone who hadn't done so. Given his reaction when I told him about the husbeast I suspect this is a male/female thing too....