Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The husbeast speaks.

This has been going around and I thought we'd all enjoy hearing the husbeast's view of things.

Me: What is your favourite thing about my knitting?

Husbeast: Uh. It makes for inexpensive Christmas presents. And it keeps you from killing people. Except for when there's a knife involved. But that's another story.

Me: What is your least favourite thing about my knitting?

Husbeast: A whole room in the house you can't go into because of all the shit that's in it. [I would like to add, the room is full of more than just knitting shit.] Like you weren't expecting that, come on. Why is it taking so long to put that small sentence in?

Me: What is something I have knitted, that you recall as good?

Husbeast: The sweater you knit me, and the ones you've knit Mom and Dad.

Me: Do you think knitters have an expensive hobby?

Husbeast: Relatively speaking, not really. You could add I build engines and drag race for a hobby.

Me: Any hobbies?

Husbeast: I just told you.

Me: Do you have a stash of any kind?

Husbeast: [Laughing] I am about to buy two more engine blocks. I've got car parts all over the fucking garage. I wouldn't categorize it as a stash. I'm in the Navy. I can't have real stashes any more.

Me: Have I ever embarrassed you, knitting in public?

Husbeast: No.

Me: Do you know my favourite kind of yarn?

Husbeast: Um, I don't know, do I? I know all kinds of shit. Superwash isn't a type of yarn, is it?

Me: Can you name another blog?

Husbeast: Uh, yeah, what's her name, fuckin'... up, Canada, uh, damn. Her name esecapes me. You know who I'm talking about, right? [The Yarn Harlot.]

Me: Do you mind my wanting to stop at knit shops wherever we go?

Husbeast: [Lip curl.] As long as I don't have to go with you, no. [Added later.] I don't force you to go to Summit Racing. So fair is fair.

Me: Do you understand the importance of a swatch?

Husbeast: Hell yeah. It's the foundation for the whole damn thing. Everyone knits differently. You need to do that, plus when you wash it... fuck all your shit up... you need to do a swatch.

Me: Do you read my blog?

Husbeast: Yes.

Me: Have you ever left a comment?

Husbeast: Once. I don't remember what it was, though.

Me: Do you think the house would be cleaner if I didn't knit?

Husbeast: [Sarcastic look.] No. Less cluttered, maybe. They're assuming you would actually clean.

Me: Anything you'd like to add?

Husbeast: [The look.] Not particularly.

So there you go. Interview with the husbeast. See? I'm not the only sarcastic pain in the butt around here.


Barbara said...

yay, Husbeast! I love me a smartass no matter what sex. And a mechanic's as bad as a knitter. My brother calls his stash "swapping stock" but it's still just raw materials in boxes and bags. Same difference.

I must confess I laugh every time you say the Goob's stripped nekkid and peed on the floor. Send her over, please. I want new carpets but can't get them until I "need" them.

Sarah said...

Uh, yeah, what's her name, fuckin'... up, Canada, uh, damn. Her name esecapes me. You know who I'm talking about, right? [The Yarn Harlot.]

Ha! That's the only other knitblogger my husband can name, as well. Although he calls her, "That Canadian knitter... YOU know... she wrote a book, right?"

(In my husband's mind, "Canadian" is the highest compliment one can bestow)

Bells said...

his reply on swatching was the mark of a man who knows the value of taking your craft seriously!

What's the bet when I do this with Sean, and I will, for the question on another blogger, he'll name yours.

Donna Lee said...

My garage looks like yours except substitute wood working tools and wood for the car parts. When I start to think that yarn is expensive, I look at the cost of the raw materials for PK's hobby. Not even close.

Allison said...

"See? I'm not the only sarcastic pain in the butt around here."

It's going to be really interesting at your house in 10 years or so with a sarcastic TEENAGE Goober added to the mix.

Galad said...

Have you been spying on our house? (Except here it is guitar amplifiers, not engines). My family would say being a saracastic pain in the butt makes life worth living!

Roz said...

This is the best thing I've read all day! I think you've missed your calling as a female Jon Stewart -- or maybe he's the male Samurai Knitter!

Anonymous said...

Knitting gets inexpensive Xmas gifts. You sure have him fooled ;-)

Anonymous said...

I'm with Roz. Best thing I've read all day. And I'm not busy. I've read a lot.

Alwen said...

That's very important, the keeping you from killing people.

Amy Lane said...

hee hee hee... good man. Any guy who can connect the dots between his shit all over the place and your shit all over the place--he's a keeper!

Amy Lane said...

I just gave my husband the same interview-- the funniest thing he said was in response to 'what's my favorite kind of yarn?'

Answer? Merlino

Anonymous said...

OMG, I just love husbeast.

I don't think my hubby even knows what kinds of yarn are out there. I don't discuss knitting at all, it's all under the radar.


Robin said...

That's too funny!

RobynR said...

I still want to know the story about the knife . . .

lashka said...

Husbeasts have to understand that unless we have stash and can knit, we will no longer be able to endure living with them. No fibre....crabby partners!

Catie said...