Long story short, the house I had high hopes for? Not gonna work. This is it:
You can easily see why I loved it. Well. Thursday we finally got inside with the realtor, and it turns out the house has been tenanted by a really bad do-it-yourselfer who should have been shot. There's not a straight line or level surface in the place. There are holes in the walls. Doors are hung wrong so they won't shut or open or stay that way. The carpet in one room is laid horribly. Worst, they lied on the seller's statement; it's not a three-bedroom. It's a two-bedroom with a sort of wide hallway with a closet in it that they're calling a third bedroom. Plus, I'm not an expert, but either the floor in the front ground floor room was laid wrong (entirely possible with that idiot living there) or there's something wrong with the foundation (also entirely possible with the way the house is built into a hill). Bottom line? The fuckhead who lived there has destroyed at least fifty thousand dollars' worth of the value of his house. It was already WAY marked down from the appraised value (we thought due to the housing recession) and there's no way it'll sell without them knocking off at least another twenty grand. At least. It's that bad.
We're definitely not getting involved. Walking the house, I felt like I was channeling Mike Holmes. "Do it right the first time." "You have got to be kidding me." "This is unacceptable."
House I loved, scratched firmly off the list. I'm fairly pissed off about it. The one silver lining is that the realtor saw that not only do I know what I'm looking at/for, but I'm not going to get suckered in because I love a house. So, that's something. A small something, but something.
The same day we toured that house, we toured another that was okay. I don't love it, but I don't hate it either. The kitchen is fairly awesome. There was an addition put on the back of the house, a HUGE family room with cathedral ceiling that I do like a whole lot. The back yard is beautifully landscaped. There's a room the hub and I could use as a workshop between us. And the whole thing could be converted to handicapped access easily, if we needed to. So if we don't find anything else we like better, we do have that as a fallback.
The reason this is such a big deal is, if we do not get our stuff out of storage by July, the Navy officially makes it Not Their Problem. Not only would we have to pay storage fees, we would have to pay to get it from South Carolina to Pennsylvania out of pocket. We'd have to take out a loan to pay for it; we could do that, but who in their right mind wants to go into debt right when they buy a house? Especially debt that you have nothing to show for. Buying furniture, okay, you get FURNITURE for your trouble. Moving? Ugh. Sucks. So we've got a deadline. Our realtor gets it and is positively saintly. I've sent her a series of e-mails using the same style I use around here - without the profanity. I'm so stressed I can't quite manage full business style. She thinks I'm hilarious.
Sunday we tour four more houses, including a repeat of what I'm thinking of as Fallback House so the husbeast can see it.
Let's keep our fingers crossed.