My brother and I were at the funeral home making arrangements today. My phone went off. The ring tone was the theme from the Addams Family. At first my brother thought it was the funeral director's phone, and told the funeral director "Wow, I was thinking that had to be the most inappropriate ring tone, EVER." and started laughing hysterically. The funeral director joined in, even though the poor man probably has the best poker face ever.
We're a class act.
And then the impeller pully ate the serpentine belt on my Jeep. It's in the shop, so I'm still in Ohio.
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15 comments:
You should totally be in my family. laughter is our defense for everything, even when completely inappropriate.
Welcome to my world!
Omigod, my sisters and I totally cracked up while looking at caskets for our mom's viewing -- the funeral director was not amused. Guess it sucks to be him.
I am in the inappropriate humor camp too. Laughter and bad jokes are my go-to way to handle all grief. My brothers and I joked about picking out Dad's casket too. The funeral guy was tolerant.
Stupid serpentine belt.
Humor does help us cope. My son (then 5)fell asleep and started snoring during my mom's funeral. Our whole family started cracking up which got us some weird looks :-)
After my StepDad died, the guy from the funeral home (not the director, he was on vacation, a fill-in guy, probably a retired funeral director) showed up at my Mom's to pick up the body. Everyone who was present at the time was female. So this elderly gent walks into the house, hospital bed in the middle of the living room, and he looks around and asks, "Is that him?" We managed to keep straight faces, but my aunt and I ended up outside busting a gut a few minutes later, when he asked something just as obvious a minute or two later. After he left we all had a good laugh about the 'Keystone Koroners' as we took to calling them.
You know, when it is impossible to laugh, it makes it harder to heal.
OMG-- my family would totally get that! (Remember--my Grandmother's last words after they took her off life support were, "So when's this thing gonna start?" Apparently it follows you right down to the end.)
Laughter is a survival technique. I bet funeral directors could tell a gazillion stories about inppropriate behaviors. And about half of them would be hysterical!
My phone used to have Tubular Bells (theme from the Exorcist). It was ringing in the grocery store and i said, "just the family". The people next to me looked at me funny.
Your phone ringing with that tone was perfect.
When you get a chance, rent Death at a Funeral. It might give you a chuckle.
For some of us, black humour is the best way to handle such a tough loss - my mom and I still laugh about driving my grandmother's urn, complete with ashes, strapped in the back seat of her car as we tried to find the mausoleum - we could hear my grandmother complaining about my mom's driving the whole time, laughed ourselves silly - needless to say, the funeral personnel assumed we were crying with grief...
thinking of you, Julie...
I think I love your ringtone. And I loved all these stories!
My ex's family worried a lot about "appropriate behavior". When my own father died, I learned that there is no such thing. I could laugh all I wanted & he remained just as dead. And would have been glad of my hilarity.
My SIL and her cousin were standing together when I went to SIL's mom's funeral. When I hugged her and said I was sorry, she looked at her cousin and said, "Forty-one," and the cousin said, "I just got up to 43."
They were counting how many times people said they were so sorry to them.
Sometimes all you can do is laugh, and cry, and show up.
When my dad died, we put his remote and back scratcher in the casket. As he was taken down the aisle to the front of the church (don't ask) the remote slid and hit the end of the casket with a thud. Only the children and grandchildren knew what it was so we all dropped our faces in our hands and laughed hysterically. The rest of the congregation said (and I heard someone say it) "That poor family. They've been through so much. Look at them crying."
My niece said, "It's OK. He can reach the remote with his back scratcher." yup. Some stories are just keepers.
My mom's pall was put on her coffin upside down. My dad laughed his ass of, then we went home and had a rager. I don't know shit about appropriate behavior for a funeral.
I bet that was ununcomfortable for the funeral director who was trying to be professional. I bet he didn't know how to respond. There is no need to worry about etiquette in a funeral situation. Everyone deals with death differently.
That's the kind of shit that happens to me. You need a little levity in the middle of all the sadness. Helps to get you through.
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