Yesterday I got a notice/invitation/announcement sort of thing in the mail (etiquette is a foggy area for me), telling us that one of my uncles (who I don't hear from much) was getting married to a woman I'd never heard of before. Hm.
So I'm sitting there, puzzling over the announcement, kind of worried at the obvious evidence of scrapbook-o-lunacy (punched corners, ribbon, etc), and wondering just what my uncle had gotten himself into, now. And this conversation came up:
HUSBEAST, thinking of gasoline to Florida and other assorted expenses: So do we send a present or something?
ME: I suppose we should, since we got an announcement.
HUSBEAST: So what do we send?
ME: I'm thinking I'll grab some crochet cotton from The Pit, knit some doily or other while I'm in Florida, block it when I get home, and chuck it in the mail.
HUSBEAST: I love you.
I guess knitting is a welcome neurosis in my house. At least for the day. (Scrapbookers, don't get offended. You're all nuts. It takes one to know one. I'm an insane knitter. Nice tameetcha.)
When I got married, going on, what is it now, seventeen years ago? I didn't change my name. So I still have the name I've had my entire life, forty years now. Wouldn't you think my family - whom I've also had my entire life - could get it right? Is that such a crazy expectation? Oh well. They cared enough to send the announcement. That's what I tell myself.
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9 comments:
I have family members who cannot (or will not) take the time to spell my son's name correctly. It really, really aggravates me. How hard is it to consult the Christmas cards I send every year with ALL our names (spelled correctly) included?
My husband and I have been married for 22 1/2 years now (happily married for 16, as my husband would say, but married for 22 +, etc...) and there are many members of his family who cannot remember that I kept my name when we married - I chalk it up to either a generational difference (when most of them married, the woman ALWAYS took her husband's name) or laziness (they don't want to write two completely separate names on the envelope) and don't let it bother me. I know who I am, and close family knows, and that's what matters.
A handmade gift is always nice, especially for someone you don't know well or see often - you put a lot of yourself into that kind of a gift (even if it's something that is not a lot of effort for you personally).
i think they love that we take care of the gift thing without much fuss, and we get some enjoyment out of making it, no matter who it's for.
We got a Christmas card from Sean's brother this year who, much like his wife, seems to routinely ignore my decision to keep my name. If it was a simple matter of forgetting, I'd be less inclined to snarl. But they are uber-conservative types who I know think there is something wrong with women who don't change their name, as if you can't have a true union without it. Barf.
My older sister and a close friend both refuse to use my "all my life" name rather than the name I DIDN'T take when I got married. When we got married I said to my husband that I wouldn't be changing my name and his response was "Well I'm not changing mine so why should you?" and that's one of the reasons he's my husband! His aunts though persist in spelling his name Julien with an "a" though which often pisses me off. He is also a husband who appreciates the hand made gift...we seem to have picked the right men really, you, Bells and I!!!
Wow, I'm in good company, as I didn't change my name either! And my husband said what Leonie's did.
The only time I got any flack over it was a couple of years ago, when our son got old enough to realize that my last name didn't match his and dad's.
After a few rounds of "You should change yours", "Well, what if you changed yours?" he gave it up.
Still have my name - when we finally got around to getting married there was no way I was changing my name. Books - Love 'em - one of my many vices, along with shoes and yarn - I have somewhere over 6000 or so kicking around the house on a range of topics. Every room has tottering piles and I actually have a library where a couple of thousand hang out. My kids love books and my four year old is reading at alsmost the same level as the 6 year old (who reads at about an 8 or 9 year old level). I read at three and husby at 4 - I also cannot understand houses without book - or without mess, but that's another story. I have slightly less time to read these days due to the above children, but spend time reading at least 3 books TO them a day - while they read me 1.
I'm going to be changing my last name because I want a damn simpler one. Mine right now either gets misspelled or mispronounced, and after almost 23 years of it, I'm tired of correcting people.
I love my last name, but I will be happy to see it go. Especially with the connotations of my last name along with living in a log house.
I dunno about making a doily for a total stranger. All those hours of work and she may not even recognize what it's for. And then, not everyone is a doily person. Everyone needs potholders, though.
Have fun in Florida, and consider druggiing the Goob. So the husbeast will be alone with the cat? How about pictures of the scars when you return?
I changed my name because my maiden name-Acabchuk-was horrible to spell and mangled by everyone. So I happily took Johnson, and live is good.
On the other hand, my dad can't remember Alexa's name or how to say it (he calls her Alexis) and they spell Kenney's name wrong all of the time. I can't help it that I thought Kenney was spelled that way. LOL You know, like monkEY...
I always do handmade. If you ever want me to paint something and send it for you, let me know. I owe you for all the yarn you've given me over the years.
Trish
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