Imagine...

...if you will, the little left hand waving, and a small, muffled voice saying "Hi, Mumum!"


Otherwise, not a lot going on.

Yesterday, when I was talking about The Baby howling, I didn't mean to imply we were having full-blown temper tantrums. Really, compared to many other children, she's still very well behaved. She's just quit following the rules (she used to react to 'no!', now she ignores it and has to be physically removed from whatever) and whines or pouts when she doesn't get her way. The whining doesn't last more than a minute or two, and is rather low-key compared to things I've seen from other kids.

On the other hand, she was pushing buttons on the TV again yesterday, and turned it off. Instead of yelling like she used to, she just sat there for a minute, sighed, and crawled off to find a toy to play with - she knew I wasn't going to fix it or listen to her thow a fit.

The real problem is, I'm dealing with someone who has the attention span of a gnat.

Besides the baby wars, the sock continues to grow. I finished gauge swatches for the Knitty Project and blocked them last night (and boy howdy, is it a good thing I did a gauge swatch - really unpredictable results), and when the yarn gets here I'll start on THAT.

Still not motivated on that second sleeve.

Broodings on an ugly sock.

I turned the heel a couple days ago, then started swatching for the Knitty Project and am now back to the sock. (I know I wanted to finish the Steeked Jacket by next week, but I find myself curiously unmotivated about that second sleeve awaiting me.) So this morning, I had to measure my foot to see what I decrease down to, after picking up the gusset stitches.

Instead of what I did last time (namely, screwing up), I STOOD UP when I measured my foot. It turns out this was a darn good idea, because when I sat down and measured my foot again out of curiosity, I found that there was a difference of over an inch. I am afflicted by a Hawaiian condition known as 'foot spread' - the result of going barefoot for ten years. (It can also be caused by wearing shoes that don't 'hold in' your feet, like sandals, slippers/thongs/flip-flops, or in my case, Birkenstocks.) I was once declared an 'honorary local' by the kids I went to school with, after I showed up for class without shoes on; I'd completely forgotten. While it is not okay to go barefoot at school any more, strictly speaking (back in the day, most kids went to school barefoot - many told me that the thing they hated most about starting kindergarten was having to wear clothing), no one commented on it except in an amused tone. One professor sighed and shook her head. In Ohio, where I also went to college once upon a time, I'd have been thrown out.

Anyway. When measuring your feet for socks, stand up. Especially if you go barefoot or wear loose shoes a lot.

Yesterday, I dyed some yarn. (Gee, that never happens around here.)


On the top, another go at the element of earth. (Much more successful than the insipid camouflage yarn I produced last time.) On the bottom, some lace weight. I was attempting to copy the color of Sekhmet's eyes; they're a pretty sea green shading toward blue on the outer edge and shading toward yellow on the inner edge. Not bad, but I haven't quite got it yet.

The Baby, six months away from the age of two, has decided that the Terrible Twos should begin now. She has been pushing the envelope on rules for the last week. We had firmly established that climbing on top of the coffee table was not to be done; who was found sitting there watching TV last night? (I was trying to cook dinner. Silly me.) When told 'no' or pulled away from any non-baby area, she lays on the floor and howls. Why she does this, I do not know; we certainly don't cater to her or give in, and often laugh at her. But she's a baby, she's not meant to make sense. In between howling and climbing furniture, though, she's been pretty happy.


New Blogger is fucking up the posting of another picture. Gee. I'm shocked. New Blogger not working. Wow. Alert the media. We never saw this coming.

Amazon.com, in their infinite wisdom, lost my book order (no record of it anywhere). In the last year, every single goddamn order I have made with them has either been lost and had to be re-done, or even better, books they said were in stock suddenly moved to out of stock status and took two months to arrive. This was sort of my last go with Amazon, and now that I've confirmed they have their heads up their collective ass, I will not be ordering from them again. Ever. Someone else, somewhere, anywhere, has got to sell any book I want.

On the other hand, my ten pounds of books from Schoolhouse Press were shipped the other day and got as far as Chicago yesterday. I hope to find it on a plane to me by this evening. I do so love being able to track packages on the internet.

We won't discuss the yarn orders coming in. Nope.

Recalcitrant, reactionary, and other R words.

Blogger (mis-typed Blooger, as in booger, hello Mr. Freud) just made me switch over to 'new' Blogger. You know what? I don't care if it works any better. DON'T. CARE. I just don't want to learn an entirely new interface. The old one was damn well working and I didn't want to upgrade. But NO. Here I am on new blogger against my will. This pisses me off. (Yes, as a matter of fact, I DO have a computer here running Windows 95. Why do you ask?)


Anyway.


Last night, I had a dream. I dreamed that I was dyeing the cat (yes, Sekhmet the bitch who bites me, that cat) to match the Baby Surprise Jacket I knit for The Baby a while back:
In the dream, I had to bleach the cat first, so the pink and light blue parts would stick better. To say it did not go well would be an understatement. Blood was spilled. Sometimes I really worry about my brain.

Otherwise, it's another day of reading, knitting, baby chasing, and sock-yarn dyeing here at House O' Samurai. I hope you guys are liking New Blogger better than I am. Fuckers.

Good health for morons.

Because 'dummy' isn't strong enough for what I've been, lately.

(Warning: there is no fiber content today because I'm working on a future Knitty pattern and Amy doesn't like us to blast photos of future designs into cyberspace. But I am knitting.)

So. I lived in Hawaii for ten years, during which, we all knew my allergies and migraines and asthma were getting worse. Not terribly worse, not terribly fast. But noticeably. But Hawaii is the land of constant 90% humidity (it's an event when it drops below 60%) and I had NO IDEA how much the humidity was saving me.

Fast-forward a couple years to winter in South Carolina with a humidity of 28%. I can't sleep at night because I keep having asthma attacks. I've got a migraine. I've got a bunch of lack-of-sleep related minor problems. But it still takes me TWO DAMN YEARS to have the idea of putting a humidifier next to the bed and blasting it into my face at night.

I did that last night.

I slept. I slept well enough to have dreams (considered a sign of good sleep and your brain resting). I feel nearly human this morning. I have hope that with a bit more REM sleep my short-term memory will get better.

Two years. I am such a moron.

Oh, and the migraine's down to a mild headache, too.

If you're in a dry wintery area and not adding humidity to your air, you might wanna try it. Can't hurt. (Today I've got a pot of water boiling on the stove.)

Stop me before I shop again!

I'm on day, uh, four? of a migraine. (I try not to keep track.) It comes and goes, I think due to a sinus infection I've had for a couple weeks. It's bad enough that I'm considering actually taking the migraine medication. (When I do that I have to top it off with other drugs to counteract the side effects and it's all just a big mess, so I try to avoid it.)

Anyway. With my head hurting too bad to knit, I've consoled myself with periodic on-line shopping. Someone needs to take away my computer.

I bought more yarn to dye - this is good sock yarn, 10% nylon. Plus some DK weight to dye for TrishJ of the comments, who bailed my ass out in a big way by spending the weekend writing articles that I was supposed to do.

Next I'm going to Elann to buy myself some more Highland Wool. I am not counting this as a real purchase (as in, 'no buying yarn this year'), because I'm going to knit up a pattern I want to publish in Knitty with it. Yarn for pattern making is exempt.

And with that in mind, I'm considering buying another sweater's worth of cotton. (Doubly exempt: it's on the "year of me" list and I want to sell the pattern.) We'll see.

We will not discuss the number of books I've bought in the last week. It's a bit much, even for me. When the knitting books get here, I'll review them.

Now I'm going to go take some Excedrin Migraine and hug my kid. Baby hugging always makes me feel better.

Reviews.

Yesterday, I had a migraine. Good times. I couldn't stand to look at a computer screen or TV all day, nor could I concentrate enough to knit. So I fell back on old-fashioned entertainment. I read a couple books.





The first book, "The Man Who Ate Everything" by Jeffery Steingarten. If the name sounds vaguely familiar, he's one of the regular judges on Iron Chef America: The grouchy one who is rather dry and witty. He used to be (not sure if he still is) the food critic for Vogue Magazine, is a lawyer, and has quite an education. You've got to love a man who does a taste test on thirty-three kinds of catchup (with McDonald's french-fries, no less, because that's what catchup goes best on), criticizes salad, and starts off his foodie book with a list of the foods he's afraid of. Plus he produces statements like "For one entire day in 1976, I weighed 116 pounds. This was the culmination of a yearlong diet composed mainly of low-fat cottage cheese and single malt Scotch, plus nine hundred packs of cigarettes and a daily vitamin pill. I hit upon this happy combination all on my own, and it is the only diet that has ever worked for me." at the start of his chapter on dieting. The chapter on wine, beer, and booze is titled "Just Say Yes". There's another chapter on raw vegetables called "Salad: the silent killer". If you eat, if you're interested in food at all, you'd enjoy this book. It was first published in the early nineties, but it still cotnains a lot of up to date information. I think there's a sequel. I'm already planning on buying it. He's honest about food (backing it up with a lot of scientific research), and unless you live on beef lard and lettuce, you'll come away from the book thinking "Gee, my diet's pretty good."


The other book:

"Kushiel's Scion" by Jaqueline Carey. (I try to post pictures of books, because no matter how literate you are, it helps to know what they LOOK like when you're trying to find the darn things.) This is the fourth book in the 'Kushiel' series, after "Kushiel's Dart", "Kushiel's Chosen", and "Kushiel's Avatar". Unlike the first three, this book is narrated by a new character (Imriel de la Courcel, for those of you who've read the first three), but has the same magic. Historic fantasy is the official genre - Carey has re-imagined the history of Europe and the story takes place in a middle ages free of the dark ages and Christianity, with gods who are a bit more active than ours. All the nations seem to be taken from their high point in history and jumbled together. Italy is in it's city-state era, Germany, Ireland, and Britain are tribal, France is a peaceful feudal monarchy, etc. It's a broad, sweeping epic to rival J R Tolkien. There are few books that make me stay up all night reading, but all the books in this series have done that to me. And the conclusion of the first trilogy, "Kushiel's Avatar" was actually better than the first and second books in the series - that takes real skill. So, if you're in the market for sweeping epics (oh, and did I mention the narrator of the first three is a professional S&M prostitute?), this is your kinda stuff.


And a movie. To round things out.
The other night, the husbeast and I watched Miami Vice. It is probably the worst movie I've seen in two or three years. Mainly I despise it as a writer - the plot twists and turns and leave dozens of hanging, unresolved plot lines, and generally make no sense. But I also hate it as a kid who grew up watching the TV show. Darn it, that show was SLICK. It was cool. It set fashion trends. Crockett and Tubbs looked GOOD. So what in hell happened to the movie? They wear nasty tee shirts and old jeans. The music was not nearly as much of a presence as in the TV show, either. Then there were general 'What the fuck?' things: why is there a Chinese chick running around with a Columbian gang, who supposedly grew up in Cuba? They couldn't find a Hispanic actress? Who ARE these people? None of the secondary characters are introduced in such a way as to explain who they are. And most of all, if this is an action movie, why in hell isn't there any action? It's a whole lot of two guys skulking around acting like drug dealers. One gunfight. One explosion. Please.

Five minutes of "Bad Boys" or "Bad Boys 2" has more wit, action, and understandable plot in it than the entire two plus hours of Miami Vice.

STEEK-ALONG: Sleeves.

Yes indeed, folks, it's time to start the sleeves! We've got TWO people up to the arm pits on their jackets. I'm so proud.

Remember that 100% figure I told you to write down and not lose? The one that is the total number of stitches (minus the steek) that you cast on to knit the body of your jacket? Go find it. And if percentages give you a headache, get a calculator (there's one in 'accessories' on Windows running computers, if you don't have one handy).

All right. To find out how many stitches to cast on for your sleeve, you want 20% of your body stitches. For example, my 100% figure is 227.

227 x 20% = 45.

So I cast on 45 stitches for my sleeve cuff. Got the idea?

Okay. For casting on, you are going to copy the hem on the body of your jacket, except that you'll knit it in the round. So do a provisional cast-on of some kind, join (without twisting), and knit the same type of hem as you did on the body. Mine was pink, eleven rows deep. So that's what I did again. Then I knit one round of blue, purled one round of blue (for the fold line), knit another round of blue, and then started on the pattern.

To center the pattern, first establish an underarm stitch or two (this would be the seam, if it were knit flat). If you have an even number of stitches in your sleeve, use one underarm stitch. If you have an odd number of stitches, use two underarm stitches. (There are math-related reasons for this. If you wanna know, e-mail me, but I don't wanna confuse the heck out of everyone.) All right. Find the center stitch, across the sleeve from the underarm 'seam stitches'. Then count backward from the center stitch, back to the underarm 'seam stitches' to figure out where in the pattern to start.

The original graph, which we all printed out, is set up so that the LAST stitch of the pattern, the vertical line, can be used as a center stitch. Count backward from there along the graph to figure out where to start your sleeve. If you do it right, you should have a mirror image on either side of the underarm 'seam' stitches:

With me so far? (If not, e-mail me, as always. Ask Bells and Louiz, I'm always happy to help. Really. And I'd like to think I AM helpful. Even if I did make fun of Bells' math skills.) And incidentally, in the picture I'm using two underarm seam stitches.

Increase one stitch on each side of the underarm seam (that's two stitches total) every fourth round. Increase until you get 40% of your total stitches figure. Again for example, mine:

227 x 40% = 91

So I increased until I had 91 stitches, then knit straight with no more increasing until the sleeve was as long as I wanted. (Six pattern repeats, for what it's worth; yours will be different because it's a different gauge and you don't have long, gangling, simian arms.) Keep in mind, if you start with an odd number, you'll have to finish with an odd number, and ditto for even numbers. If, between 20% and 40% you get an odd and an even number, round one up or down to make them both odd or even. One stitch won't make any difference; remember. It's kntiting. It stretches.

Do NOT freak yourself out, doing the increases 'in pattern'. Just look at the chart, look at where you are in your knitting, and figure out if you should make a stitch with your light or dark color, do so, and knit on. It's not brain surgery. Remain calm. Do not freak out. That is an order.

To end, END ON THE SAME PATTERN ROW YOU ENDED THE BODY WITH. I think I told everyone to end the body on the last pattern line, line 14. So end your sleeves on line 14, too. Honestly, you can end it on ANY row, BUT END THE SLEEVES AND THE BODY ON THE SAME PATTERN ROW. If you don't, when you join them up, you'll have to shift pattern rows between body and sleeve as you knit around the sweater and drive yourself insane. (Plus the pattern will jog weirdly when you look at it in it's finished state, but that's minor compared to driving yourself crazy.)

All rightie then, go for it!

I'm only on the hem of my second sleeve, myself, so I'm not much ahead of you guys. You're FAST!

Swoon.

I just ordered a spinning wheel.

Then to round things off, I hit Schoolhouse Press and bought a bunch of books. (A BUNCH.) I intended to get, like, three. But I'm spending the tax return mad money and would see something I liked and say "what the heck" and order it. I think I ended up with five more books I had no intention of buying. Including another book on sock knitting. I'm halfway through my first sock and have already got five or six books on socks. I need another one?

Plus I got "Victorian Lace Today" so as not to be the only person on earth who hasn't seen it yet. (I intend to knit a Christmas present with a pattern out of it, and possibly a state fair entry.)

Now I'm heading out to Knit, a local yarn store I've never been to.

I'll probably buy sock yarn. Geez.

What I really need is a book on spinning.

Oh. And I just found out there's a local knitters' reatreat at the local beach this month. Hmmm.

Sekhmet, you fucker.

Goals & links.

When I first started this blog, at the end of each month (or the beginning of the next, depending on how behind I was running), I would post a sort of list. What I'd done that month, and what I hoped to accomplish the next. At some point (I do believe in the midst of the Blue Shimmer insanity), I got out of the habit, which was a shame. It kept me organized.

Well, as organized as I ever get.

So.

In January I did some felted containers:

That includes two that got thrown away, sight unseen, and another that was unraveled halfway through because I KNEW it would turn out dorky. Of the three that survived, two are awaiting Christmas and the little one is holding some of my knitting gear (needles, scissors, etc) on the kitchen table. I want to try the moebius cast-on edge thing again, this time in a yarn that makes it possible to see what's happening.

I also finished the Steeked Jacket up to the arm pits, and one sleeve:

Sleeve directions for everyone doing the Steek-Along will be posted tomorrow. I wanted to post them today, but The Baby kept climbing bookshelves and stuff, and I didn't dare leave the living room (where she plays) long enough to type them up, and I didn't dare bring her into my office (full of book shelves she would consider a jungle gym) while I did it, either. But they shall be done tomorrow, if I have to resort to duct tape.

Oh, and I have a baby blankie and a sock on the needles, too. Those are mostly for when I'm too tired or disgusted to work on the steeked jacket and just want some mindless knitting.


February, I want to finish the Steeked Jacket (preferably by Valentine's Day), make a decision on what to knit next (Geometric star, or cotton modular?), swatch it, and get started. Plus continue work on the blankie and socks.


And of course I'll still be dyeing yarn like a fiend. I've only got two skeins left of that three miles of sock yarn that I bought. Now that I'm knitting the sock yarn, I realize it's not as bad as I thought it was, but I'm still going to be working with better yarn in the future.


While I'm summarizing and wrapping up, I've got some links to articles. None of them have to do with knitting.

A humorous account of an internet-free vacation can be found here. My personal favorite is Day Six. I get that way after about two hours with no internet. Sometimes I get that way while ON the internet.

An ancient village has been found near Stonehenge (you know, the one near Salisbury, England) dating to the same time as Stonehenge was built. Very cool. Details here.

And MIT has found a better way to synthesize spider silk. When do we get to knit with it?

Stress, a sock, and a baby.

Kind of in that order.

Remember last week when I was saying there was nothing happening in my life and that was good? Yeah. Well. Stuff happened. Mainly health issues of family members, but there's a lot of it from different directions and I wanna crawl under my futon and not come out. (The husbeast calls this my hermit crab method of stress management.) I'd go into details, but members of my family like privacy, so... no blasting it out over the internet. (Privacy. Huh. Never heard of it.)

Anyway. I got up this morning, and found this on the couch:

And I was all ready to beat Sekhmet the cat into oblivion (I believe I even yelled "Sekhmet, you fucker!") when THIS happened:

So I'm not entirely sure the cat is to blame. Though judging from past behavior, I'm willing to blame both of them.

The Baby followed this up with learning how to climb on the couch, and bouncing up and down on it (caught here in action), reducing my day to pulling her off the couch, off the hearth, out of the toy basket, out of the shelves in the entryway...


In the midst of everything, I knit a swatch out of Really Ugly Sock Yarn (created by dumping all the leftover dye at the end of the day onto a lump of yarn) and cast on for a sock... isn't that proper knitter stress management? Knitting a sock?

The Ugly Socks are preparation and practice, after which I will knit myself some Really Pretty Socks with the OTHER yarn I dyed. It's an aqua dip dye. I love it.

Anyway, The Baby is now banished to her crib after a morning of raising hell, and I am off to knit something - anything.

STEEK ALONG INFORMATION:
We've got one person up to the arm pits on their jacket. How is everyone else coming?

Cindy, if you're willing to wait for a few folks to catch up, I will post the next steps here. If you're on fire and wanna do the sleeves NOW, e-mail me and I'll send you the directions.

Oh, and what I'm knitting.

Ha. Since it's a knitting blog and all.

I'm on sleeve one of the steeked jacket for the knit-along (link in the side bar):


And a gaugeless, swatchless, guranteed-to-use-up-stash blankie for the baby:



Plus my biggest work in progress of all:



Plus, someone in the comments had a question about the Starry Night Ruana-Thingie. Details of that, plus photos and construction methods, can be found here.

I'm up!

My last article is up over at Knitty: Cheating at Color Theory. The surprise patterns are also up, including a couple really nice pullovers.

For anyone new wandering in from Knitty, welcome! We're in the midst of a knit-along, making a steeked jacket in the "Elizabeth's Percentage System" style. Details in the side bar; click on the "Jacket Steek-Along" button. If you'd like to join, just say the word!

Otherwise, I'm playing mad scientist in my home, dyeing yarn to start up an Esty shop.

Welcome!

Hip, my ass.

...or something like that.

I've had two people mention this to me in as many days, so it looks like it's time for another long, rambling blog post that solves nothing!

To wit, the problem of all these 'it's so hip to knit' books.

There appears to be a growing backlash, and I, for one, couldn't be happier. A quick search of Amazon has turned up no less than NINE knitting books with 'hip' in the title, including "Funky Knits, knitting know-how for hip young things" which makes me wish for a sharpened pencil and a publisher's back to bury it in. Plus there's a further slew of knitting books all trying to tell me it's a great and fascinating craft that is 'not my grandmother's' knitting. (And, incidentally, I want one of these - anybody got $500 and an extra room to add to my house?)

Since when is a thousand-year-old craft used to make socks and underwear HIP, and why in hell does it want to be? AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH GRANDMA'S KNITTING?

I know, I know. It's marketing. But you know what? It's fucking annoying.

Since seeing the horrifying list of hip knit books on Amazon, I've been sitting here trying to think of anything I've ever knit that could qualify as 'hip'. Let's see: a boat load of lace... no.... a lot of traditional sweaters... no.... some felted containers...? Probably not. I think the closest I ever got to hip was the twelve-color Starry Night ruana thingie, and since it's rather a classic design I doubt it qualifies as hip either.

What really gets me in all this is, by denying knitting's everydayness, it's blue-collar history as well as it's high-end trade good moments, they're ignoring what has made knitting great. The workaday wool jumpers that keep fishermen warm in cold weather to this day, the glorious silk nightshirts of royalty, the ladies' stockings at 25 stitches to the inch, all that skill, all that potential for usefulness and stylishness TODAY, all reduced to a dorky TV show and a bunch of books with fun-fur scarves.

Ah well, a lot of us know the truth and I have a feeling we'll win through in the end.

Back to the grind stone.

I started off the morning (okay, I slept late, but when I DID get up I dug right in) with another round of dye experiments.

On the right is "Earth" (as in earth, air, fire, and water) and that seems to work for me, but the left is supposed to be "Winter" (greys and muted blues and beige, with a few bright speckles of aqua). I kind of like it, but it sure ain't winter. The black dye (with which I was trying to make gray) broke and turned purple. The good news is, with this last mistake, I've identified exactly which chemical it is causing the problems, and how: it's a pink that sticks faster and harder to the wool than any of the other dyes.

So now I just have to find someone who sells food dyes individually and unmixed (blue 3, yellow 5, etc), mix my own colors, and avoid that one dye. Yeah. That should be easy.

It also occured to me that I should have some sample knits to show on my site, so I've dyed a couple mini-skeins to make myself some sport socks. Yes, I'm winding up knitting socks because of this little venture. I guess it was inevitable.

In the 'elemental' range of dye schemes, I'm also working on 'fire'.

As always, the camera doesn't catch the subtleties. And it's really hard to do dark colors when using this dye method; I'm on round three of adding red dye to the same spot, hoping it will stick.

After this, I put the baby down for a nap and write some articles. I'm not sure I'm thrilled to be busy, or not. In a way it's a pain in the ass, but it makes me feel useful, gives me specific tasks I can FINISH (as opposed to child-rearing, which is NEVER DONE) and brings in a pay check (which I can then spend on knitting books and fiber related stuff). Anyway, it works for now.

While I was doing nothing else this weekend, I got a lot of sleeve knitting done, and I hope to have it all joined up to the body tonight. Then it's on to the second sleeve.

I just looooove second sleeves.

Recharge.

The last several weeks have been a flurry of 'work': yarn dyeing and article writing. (Well, not such a flurry on the articles. I've got a lot more to do.) The problem with working at home is, you're always at work. So, this weekend I've done nothing. I knit some, watched some movies, read a book, and slept late.

Back to dyeing and writing tomorrow.


In the irony department, it looks like I'm keeping the winter issue of VK. I think I might knit that ruffled garter-stitch wrap for someone (pattern #13). In boucle no less. I'm going to put it off and hopefully come to my senses. Soon.

Comments on some comments.

I was asked in the comments if I'd ever knit something out of Vogue Knitting and at the time replied, 'not that I remember'. Well, I remember better now. I did. I knit the cover sweater off the summer 2004 issue (2003?) for the Knitting Olympics last February.

Even this was altered, though; in the magazine it had no bottom edging (??!??) and I added some length and some ribbing. As I recall I also tweaked the decreasing in the front so it looked a little better. It fits well enough though it's a little on the low-cut side. (Then again, what's the point of the X of I-cord across your chest if not to show off your boobs?) Oddly, I've found that VK often runs more knittable/wearable patterns in the summer, which is strange when you think about it. Winter and fall seem to be the season for knitwear. But, whatever, I try to wear knits year 'round.

Last fall I went through all my old knitting magazines and pitched a huge stack (and further unloaded more on my mother-in-law). These are what I kept; each of those little blue and red tabs is a pattern I want to knit. I think the oldest one is a norgi-based pullover in VK from 1993.

Maybe 2008 will be 'knit up magazine patterns' year. It's a thought.

I've set myself a goal to finish up the Steeked Jacket by Valentine's Day. Partly because I want to wear it some time this winter, and partly so I can start on something else. In the interest of stash busting, I also started this:
It's a diagonally knit blanket for The Baby. This yarn has been my own personal Stash Monster for about five, maybe ten years. You know the monster: the yarn you bought ten balls of for no reason you can possibly imagine, and every time you look at it, you cringe. What did I think I was going to knit with orange and white variegated boucle?? Well, actually, I was going to knit myself a loose pullover, but when I knit a swatch I realized the boucle made it look like a terrycloth beach towel, and shoved it in the back of the yarn closet as far as it would go. Now I'm going to try to use it up; getting rid of it alone would be a major victory in stash-busting for the year. It's kind of small yet, but I only started it last night.



Someone (I forget who, sorry) also asked if I was sticking with food coloring dyes because of safety issues involving the baby. Yes. That's exactly why. Not only for the obvious safety reasons (no toxic fumes), but because this way I can work right in the kitchen and dining room with the baby playing near me and not have to try to watch her while dyeing yarn in the garage or back yard.



I've got about half the yarn I bought dyed, and am thinking I will keep a few regular color schemes, but I'm leaning toward doing a lot of experimental, one-of-a-kind stuff. More fun for all involved, I'd think.

Nothin'.

There is nothing new here at House O' Samurai.

I dyed more yarn today:
The blue is lace-weight. I want to keep it.


I'm still waiting for elves to come wind up the Purple Train Wreck:
So far, no luck.


Sekhmet is still disgruntled about the concept of baby gates:



The Baby is still cute:
When she wants to rough-house and wrestle, she takes my hands, puts them against her sides, and says "tickle tickle". It sounds like "tik-uh tik-uh", but it's pretty good for one and a half.


I'm still knitting the first sleeve of the Steeked Jacket:



We're all still sick, and I've still got articles to write that are overdue.

I'd wish for some excitement, but around here that means orders to move seven thousand miles away, or a family emergency, or a car accident. So I'm going to stick with boredom. Yup. Works for me.

Even if I don't have anything to blog about.

What I did today.

Other than write snarky Vogue Knitting revies.

I didn't knit (yet), though I have plans to start knitting in a couple minutes and maybe do a whole pattern repeat on the sleeve for the steeked jacket - it's finally cold here and I want to finish it in time to wear it this winter.

What DID I do?

Dye yarn.

See the unholy number of colors coming out of that dye pot? The term for that is 'broken' dye. And that's why Purple Train Wreck is named what it is. All the uneven purples and even the aqua color are all done with one dye that is chemically unstable. (Well, it's a food color, I bet it works fine on icing. I should complain to the company anyway. Ha.) I did two skeins. One is spoken for, but the rest of you can squabble over the other one.



I also reeled up some yarn I dyed yesterday:

On the left, the yarn that was in the dye pot yesterday when I took the photo that I posted. Tomorrow I'm going to try to repeat it on some laceweight. On the right, an experiment in green gone horribly wrong, now scattered with random blobs of lavender, light blue, and gray and white bits where none of the dye stuck. (The husbeast said "That's kind of nice" while I was winding it up, and I asked him if he was sure he'd passed all his colorblindness tests.)

I now have dishpan hands, and another full day with the dyepot tomorrow. I'm kind of getting the hang of this. I'm looking into buying some different food colorants to try out. Mwahahaha.

REVIEW: Vogue Knitting Winter 2007

As always, things in quotes are from the magazine, and all photos are from the web site. Patterns are referred to by the number assigned in the magazine, not the page number.


First thing I noticed about this VK was that it's thin on patterns: twenty-nine of them. A quick flip through the backlog of VKs laying about shows that usually there are thirty-five to thirty-seven patterns in a winter issue. Considering three of these patterns are hats, they're really cheaping out this time around.

The new yarns are shown (on page 16) in pom-pom form. And just in case you might possibly be able to make out the yarn structure, some idiot sprinkled fake snow on top of them. So all you see are balls of puff. Anyone making pom-poms out of pure cashmere yarn should be flogged. Repeatedly.

There's an article on knitting and knitting books from Canada, like the US has suddenly realized people knit in the Great White North. Duh.

Meg Swansen discusses two-end or twined knitting, with a hat pattern as an example. It's an old Scandinavian technique covered in "Two End Knitting" by Anne-Maj Ling. If you like the technique in the magazine, get the book. I've got it, and it's worth the money. (A sweater made this way is listed in the Year of Me goals.)

Nicky Epstein discusses embroidery which I don't think belongs in a knitting magazine, but I'm a grouch and a purist. They can eat their crochet directions, too.

Article on Brandon Mably. Eh. Is he totally overrated, or is it just me?

Nice article on Scandinavian knitting, for anyone interested in that Strikke-along we've been kicking around. The suggested reading list contains several books in other languages that I've never heard of before, so that's nice.


and... THE PATTERNS:

First section is called "The Big Chill". VERY original. They've got a quote from Shelley to start it off and the whole thing is shot inside a house with fake snow and snowballs laying around. Not the lamest shoot I've ever seen from VK, but it's up there.



1. Lace sweater done in two kinds of yarn (silk and silk/mohair), giving it a cutaway look in the places it's done with thinner yarn. Kind of a cool idea, but in the magazine photo the yarns are two slighly 'off' colors - one greenish, one reddish, and looks really, well, bad. If I could find two perfectly matching yarns and wanted a lace sweater for winter (yeah, that would keep me warm) I'd consider it. Except for that silk/mohair hatred I have.

2. The cover sweater. Modular cabled hexagons sewn together into a shrug thing, with ribbing for the sleeves and neck. This is potentially a cool sweater, if it were made longer and not shown on a model that looks like an anorexic albino. As it is, it looks like complicated-to-knit shoulder pads.



3. Short lace jacket in thick-and-thin yarn. Because if you're going to the bother of knitting lace, you should always use yarn that obscures the stitch pattern. And what is the point of knitting a short sweater out of bulky yarn? Are you trying to stay warm or not?



4. Cabled sweater knit with bulky yarn. Because the sweater just isn't big enough and won't make you look fat enough, with JUST the bulky yarn. Probably is damn warm, though, if you used it as an outside pullover. The neck is pretty horrifying. Not one but TWO layers of bulky ribbing and cables.



5. I bet if the model sat up straight, those bobbles would poke out like a row of nipples on the belly of a pig.



6. Is it possible to come up with a more unflattering shape for a sweater? The idea of knitting a Fair-Isle pattern with variegated yarn is a good one... why not just knit the damn Fair-Isle? Why this patchwork weirdness that not only looks stupid but adds hours to the seaming time and requires two-stranded purling?


7. A knitted patchwork skirt in, among other things, brushed mohair. There are no words. Even the model looks pissed. And the styling... is that a jersey dress that's been sliced up the middle, over top of it??!!??



8. Sideways-knit Fair-Isle. I've been looking at patterns like this for a while now, seeking something with a vertical line that's more flattering to the female figure. While this is the best of the lot that I've seen, what the FUCK is up with the total lack of edging? Are they allergic to it? It looks unfinished as it is. And would curl like crazy if it weren't starched, or the model moved. As it is, I bet they've got it pinned down around that neck line.



Three unnumbered hat patterns, all knit in bulky yarns (which makes finishing a bitch), none flattering. The stocking cap with the rolled brim probably sticks out from your head three inches. VERY Vogue.



"New York Noir" is the next section, with the photos taken in what looks like a studio set up to be a roof top. What with being based in New York and all, I suppose it was too much to ask, that they get outside and take photos of the actual CITY.

9. Knitted jacket. What in HELL is up with that pose? Does the model have scoliosis? Flipping to the back, I can see from the schematics that it's a rather nice tailored jacket. But if your bust measurement is over 45"/114cm, you're shit out of luck.



10. The obligatory knitted dress. Because even if you had the figure to wear one, you'd be SO ready to spend five months knitting it and be done just in time for summer. Assholes.



11. Every girl needs a row of eyelets right across her tits.



12. Striped bolero shrug thingie. Okay. Is it me, or does this model look freaky, like one of those composite photos where they turn a person's eyes upside down?



13. I like this, but does "Knit a garter-stitch rectangle with short rows on one side for ruffles" REALLY count as a pattern? And for some dumbass reason it's not listed as a "Very easy, Very Vogue" pattern.



14. For some reason I can't explain, I like this. Even though it's really fussy compared to what I normally wear, with all those ruffles. But as a coat? You'd catch pneumonia with that open chest. And it would turn into the Knit from Hell if you used the recommended yarn - a boucle mohair. Boucle mohair. Hahahahaha. Right. I'd rather cut off a few of my fingers.

15. Cabled pink cardigan with 3/4 length sleeves. Nice enough, but I'd knit it in cotton and wear it as a spring jacket, not for winter.

16. Ditto for this one. Pink bolero with short sleeves and a lace inset. Not terribly warm for winter. And the construction method is INSANE: knit everything, even the ties, as separate pieces and sew together. 'Cause knitters love seaming so much.



Next up is a section entitled "Designer's Resort Crochet". Resort. Crochet. It's shot in a makeup studo, so so much for that resort thing. AND IT'S NOT FUCKING VOGUE CROCHET, NOW, IS IT, MOTHERFUCKERS?

Ahem.

17. Grey crocheted dress that's so openwork you'd have to wear it over another dress. Ugly color and about as warm as fish net.

18. Little lace camisole/tank top. Also about as warm as wearing nothing. And what is UP with the model's hands? She looks like she should be auditioning for the role of the alien in "Alien: Resurrection".



"Man to Man" is the next section, making me roll my eyes before I even read the text. "Men can be such finicky boys when it comes to knits." Let's not be patronizing or anything. And FYI, the husbeast would not be caught dead in any of them. The gimmick is, they had men design all these. Yeah, like that made a difference.

19. By Brandon Mably. Maybe if you left out the giant, honkin', stupid hand print on the front. And dropped shoulders are SO flattering on men. Har.



20. By Leigh Witchel (??) Uh... yeah. Fussy enough?



21. I am imagining giving the husbeast a sweater with an asymetric hem line and having him ask me what was wrong with it and how come I screwed it up.

22. Sweater vest with a pattern of purl squares over it. In red, white, and blue. Not bad if you changed the colors. If you know a guy who wears sweater vests these days. Anyone? Maybe I hang out with too many engineering types.



Next section, "Coat Check" also shot in a photography studio. They went to great lengths on this issue, I can tell.

23. Knee-length coat in five shades of brown. The yarn is held double throughout. Nice enough, but it'd cost a fortune to knit and the weight would have it down to your ankles after the first wearing.

24. Cabled-all-over coat. In beige. Eh.

25. Knee-length ribbed coat knit in CAMEL. Yeah, that's affordable. Probably the least inoffensive of these coats, but it reminds me of a bath robe.



"The Subject is Roses" is our last and final section. More like flowers, but the Plant Freak in me will let that one slide. And of all places to do a photo shoot, yeah, let's have one in an over-cluttered kitchen. Grand idea.

26. Floral dress. It's hydrangeas on it, matter of fact, not roses. (I know this 'cause it's by Annie Modisett and I read her blog.) I'll bet the model is holding that pillow the way she is because it makes even her ass and hips look fat. By the way, Modisett was told to knit a floral dress, so she did... it's not really the deisgner's fault on a lot of these things. Often even the yarn is dictated.

27. Boxy, off-the-shoulder blue sweater with bigass roses done in intarsia. This model is probably a size six and she looks huge. Oh yes, I'll have one of these. (Still, it'd be nice to rip off the rose pattern for a knitted bag.)



28. Little floral shirt thingie. I like it, but it says 'spring' to me, or even 'summer', not 'winter issue of Vogue Knitting'. And that cute little lace edging? It's machine-made and sewn on. Isn't that cheating?

29. Black chenille kimono with big floral motifs duplicate-stitched on it. Nice, but with that pose over the stove I keep waiting for the sleeve to catch fire.



And that concludes this winter's Vogue Knitting, because they ripped us off for about six patterns.