Bloody, buggering, pig-fucking hell.

That one's for the profanity afficionados I've got around here.

The husbeast just called. He's got leave for Christmas.

It's official. I've got to finish these damn scarves. By the 20th.

Fuck.

More whining.

Well, hopefully not THAT much more.

Thanks to everyone with ideas on the migraine situation (April, really liked the tequila suggestion - the husbeast agreed), but I already know what the trigger is, and there's nothing really to be done about it. It's all about the weather. We're at that seasonal point where there are huge differences in temperature between day and night (today it's changed twenty degrees in four hours) and that plays hell with my sinuses, which trigger mild migraines. Fortunately these are not the killer, blinding migraines that I was having for a while, but after a week, any kind of migraine sucks. Anyway, I've had these all my life, and there's really nothing to do but hunker down and feel like crap for a while. (Well, massive doses of caffeine and Excedrin Migraine help, but then I can't sleep at night.) I've had, oh, sixty-odd sinus infections, lifetime. This just goes with the territory. For a chronic problem, it beats cancer or rheumatoid arthritis, at any rate.

I'm babbling.

KNITTING NEEDLE QUESTION: (Sorry I missed this one yesterday when I was answering the yarn thing.) I've had some questions about what kind of needles to use for the steek-along. Obviously you're going to need circulars. The size depends on your yarn weight; use what the ball band suggests, or what YOU want to use. (I often use needles larger than suggested, but for a jacket I want to wear as outerwear, I'm using smaller.) You'll also need some double-points for the cuffs. For the hems, you need something a size or two smaller than your planned needle size, in double-points for the cuffs and either single-points or a circular for the body hem - the body hem is knit flat. (For instance, I'm knitting mine on size 7/4.5mm needles and I will be using size 5/3.75mm needles for the hems.)

As for LENGTH of circulars, well, that's a tough question. I prefer a 26" needle for everything. It crams the needles together and that way I don't have to waste time smooshing the stitches around as I knit. (This may be a partial cause of my alleged knitting speed.) HOWEVER, if you're not skilled at stranded color, mashing the stitches together will give you a really tight, puckered gauge. You need to keep the stitches spread out on your right hand needle, spread to approximately the final gauge, so that the floats on the back of the fabric are the proper length. (Does this make sense? Let me know if it doesn't.) So it's up to you; if you aren't experienced and want to spread out a bit, try a 30" needle, or even longer. But make it at least 4" (uh, 7cm? about? you want me to do metric conversions with a migraine?) smaller than the circumference of your sweater body. Jumper. Sweater. Whatever.

For the sleeves, you'll need double-points or two circulars or a magic-loop type needle for the cuffs. Once the sleeve gets long enoug you can shift over to an 11" circular, or knit the whole blessed thing the way you do the cuffs. I've knit entire sleeves on double-points before, it's not that horrendous. Not to mention, with the way this pattern works, you'll only be knitting the sleeves up to the arm pits, after that we join the whole thing together on the circular you're using for the body. So the sleeves aren't that long, all things being equal.

I'm still babbling.

If any of this is confusing, let me know and I'll go over it again.

In other news, I'm a horrible mother. The Baby woke up this morning, I parked her in the Pack-and-Play, laid down, and fell asleep. I woke up two hours later when The Baby yelled "MUMUM!" at me. Her diaper had overflowed. I suck.

You can see how traumatized she is by the whole thing:

I'm thinking it's nap time for everybody.

Has anyone seen my brain?

I'm on day seven (eight? I'm trying not to keep track) of a sinus-related migraine and am getting a little fed up. (For 'fed up' read 'taking increasing doses of migraine medications'.) So this post is probably going to lack pizaz. (Or, for all know, be chock full of rude profanity, for the entertainment of you all.)

YARN CHOICES FOR THE KNIT ALONG:
This seems to be a tough one for a lot of youse guys out there. Boy, give people unlimited choices and they go all to pieces. I don't know what's up with that. Here are some relevant points to keep in mind. I am STILL not telling you what to buy.

-Use wool or a wool blend. We're steeking, and wool is best for that. Best not to get into weird complexities on steeking until you've done it once or twice; make it easy on yourself. Get something wooly. (Woolie? Whatever.)

-Worsted weight or heavier is best. You CAN use sport weight, or, hell, even fingering, if you feel so inclined, but it will take FOREVER to knit and we'll all be off doing sleeve decreasing while you're wildly trying to keep up. For a light jacket intended for cool-but-not-cold weather, use worsted/DK. For a COAT, use something heavier, like regular weight lopi. (I am using Lite Lopi on size 7/4.5mm needles, for a jacket to wear in a warm coastal climate. I'd say that's about as light/thin as you should go on the yarn - remember, I knit pretty fast.) Also remember, by doing all-over straded color, you're in effect doubling the thickness of the fabric.

-A related question from the Aussies amongst us was regarding five-ply vs. eight-ply for yarn. I've used Aussie eight-ply and it would make a fine jacket, but it would be fairly warm. Up to you; you know what the weather's like where you live.

-I suggest getting an extra skein of each color for luck. If you don't need it, you can knit a scarf or a hat or both to go with your jacket, when you're finished. Or mittens. Or a matching dog coat for your critter.

Photos are being taken of the swatch-knitting process so everyone can experience the glory of my nit-picking gauge-measuring methods.


Otherwise, um, today sucked, and I'm drugged. Yup, I think that covers it all. Before anyone can e-mail and complain, here's a baby photo. She's really asleep.

Art is what you make of it.

In this case, carved crayons.

I don't know why I think they're so damn cool.

Steek-Along News!

Just a reminder, the Steek-Along will be starting in another couple weeks, so it's time to make a decision on that yarn and get fired up to knit your gauge swatch. If you use my method of gauge swatch knitting and measuring (which I will describe), I warn you now: it's nitpicking and fussy, but the odds are good that your sweater will fit when you're done.

For those just wandering in, beginning in January (mid-December to January 2 is gauge swatch knitting time), we are going to do a step-by-step knit-along to make one of these:

A seamless two-color jacket, steeked up the front to make a cardigan.

A summary of skills needed is available here. (I will be describing and doing tutorials on a lot of the methods, including grafted hems, steeking, and seamless sweater knitting.)

A discussion of yarn requirements is available here. Also included are close-up photos of the stitch pattern to help you figure out what colors you want to use. (I'm using denim blue and pink Lite Lopi from Reynolds, if that helps you any.)

Other suggested reading, if you want to get in the groove:
My article on the Percentage System, which is the basis for our pattern, though we'll be using a different shoulder-decrease method.

My discussion on alternative gauge calculating methods, which we will be using.

Eunny's discussion of steeking methods; I suggest using the crocheted steek, but whatever you use, pick a method and make sure you've got the equipment avialable to do it (like a sewing machine for sewn steeks).

And if you've got a copy of "Knitting Without Tears" by Elizabeth Zimmerman, read up on how she does the saddle-shoulder decrease sweater, because that's what we'll be doing.

Plus, measure your favorite cardigan and decide what size you want to knit your sweater.

The previous record holder.

Remember I said that before the planned Geometric Star Jacket, the most colors I'd used in a project was twelve? Well, here it is: (and oh, dear heavens, do not notice my double chin)

The Stary Night Ruana Thingie. I used twelve shades of Brown Sheep Nature Spun sport, on size four and five (3.5 and 3.75 mm) needles. It took me about five months of knitting, while working on nothing else. (At least, not that I remember.) This was before I'd had The Baby and could actually concentrate on things. Yes, there are three colors in some rows.


The pattern itself is taken straight from "Poems of Color" and is one of the Bohus designs, 'The Large Collar'. (In the book it's done in shades of beige, tan, and brown.) The colors I ripped off from 'Starry Night' by Vincent VanGogh. (I've got a print in my dining room and literally slapped a yarn color card on top of it and ordered the yarns.)

Construction method is seriously weird; I made it up myself and went for simplicity of knitting, not ease of finishing.

I cast on 300+ stitches at the wrist, and knit inward toward the center back, steeking what became the bottom of the jacket. I did two of those, then did a three-needle bindoff down the center of the back to join them together. Then I picked up some center stitches at the cast-on edge at the wrist and knit downward to make the cuffs. The rest of the cast-on stitches at the wrist were joined together in a three-needle bindoff. Then I cut the steeks and picked up stitches all the way up and around the front opening and across the bottom (860 stitches, if I remember correctly) and knit an edging. (Is this making sense?)

Bells, remember when I said it's possible to do seed stitch borders, it's just a pain in the butt? Well, this is the edge that taught me that lesson:


Though I dare say at 860 stitches, anything would have sucked. You can't beat seed stitch for color blending, though. (To make this work, I had literally four square feet of gauge swatches, and it STILL came out a little puckered.)

So, there you go. Proof of insanity.

The real reason the Geometric Star scares me is because it's intarsia. After this project, stranded color never worried me again. After the Geometric Star I'll probably feel the same way about intarsia.

Knitting, priorities, and baby cuteness.

I try to keep from turning this into a motherhood blog, but what with constant demands for baby photos, well, it's your own fault.

First, knitting.

I measured the current mohair scarf and it's 52in/114cm long (unblocked - it will grow), and I'm thinking that's long enough, and to hell with how much yarn is left. (Normally I knit to the end of the skein.) So one way or another, this scarf will be done this weekend, and I'll be down to two left. And I think I'm doing the easy one next.

I'm also still working on the Baby Surprise Jacket:

It's about halfway done, and I about halfway understand the construction. There's also a lot of crossing my fingers and just following directions going on. But it's a REALLY easy knit (I've been doing it while reading) and if it turns out the right size, I may make one for my nephew, take it to Ohio as-is, and let everyone puzzle over it for a while before sewing it together, like a party trick. (Yes. I am desperate for entertainment.)

Reality has also settled over me, in terms of the Geometric Star Jacket. Do not be alarmed, I do intend to knit it. But I want to finish the blue-and-black one-armed sweater first. And don't forget, we've got the Steek-Along coming up January 2. What will probably happen is, I'll start the Geometric Star sometime mid-January and that will be my alternate project while working on the Steeked Jacket with youse guys. (This will be my fourth steeked jacket. I can knit one pretty fast, now.)

So, priorities right now are the two scarves, the gauge swatch for the steeked jacket, and the blue and black sweater, with baby surprise jackets thrown in for relaxation. We're broke right now, which means lots of time at home, which means lots of knitting, so I have hope.

There is an unholy amount of yarn sitting around here. (Normally I'm one of those types who buys yarn with a purpose in mind and then knits it up. My 'stash' is 90% leftovers from old projects or odd balls bought for swatching.) I think we're at the lifetime high-water (high-wool?) mark for yarn in the house; three sweaters' worth and another one on the way. I've GOT to knit some of this up.



Anyway, baby cuteness. I know that's really why I have readers.

Last night The Baby was in my office playing and Sekhmet was on my office chair, and I was knitting. The Baby took one of her toys over to the chair and laid it next to the cat. I told The Baby that was very nice of her to share, but kitties play with cat toys, not baby toys. The Baby crawled out of the office and returned a moment later with a catnip mouse, and tucked it in beside the cat.

There is a scary level of smart going on around here.

She's also decided to talk and seems to be picking up a phrase every couple days now. "Bye-bye" with waving around Thursday, and "Hi Mumum" sometime this week. She's also actively looking for animals and calling them all 'kitty'. We went for a walk, she saw a squirrel, and spent the rest of the walk pointing to the side of the road and saying "kitty?", wanting to see another one.

Baby fix.

So you can all get through the weekend without any strange twitching problems.


This was last year's Halloween costume. She was two months old.

I did it.

I ordered the yarn for the Geometric Star Jacket from Elann. Twenty-two balls of yarn in twenty different colors.

My previous record for colors in a project is twelve.

I have lost my mind.

Botany rant.

There is no knitting content in this post. None. If you're looking for it, wait until later today.

This is about apples. With a side trip into potatos.

No, I'm not kidding. And yes, as a matter of fact, I am drugged. And have a migraine. Nyeah.



Oookay. Quick botany lesson so the rant makes sense: There are two ways for plants to reproduce. Sexually and cloning. (In a nutshell. I'm simplifying this so we aren't here all day.) Sexually means flowers, pollen, and seeds, plus a whole genetically new plant at the end of the process. Cloning means all kinds of things; planting bits of potatos for new potatos, splitting a big plant into smaller plants, growing roots on violet leaf cuttings, or for our purposes, grafting the branches of old apple trees onto new root/stems.

Now. With sexual reproduction, you get genetically new plants, and from that, ADAPTATION. Plants evolve with the bugs that eat them, they develop new defenses as the bugs develop resistance to their old defenses, etc. With cloning, nothing happens. You grow the same damn plant you've always grown, in some cases for a hundred-odd years, while the bugs and other pests evolve and develop a sweet tooth for your ancient plant. (If you watch Stargate, this is what happened to the Asgard. To put it all in a pop culture frame of refrence.)

This results in spraying massive amounts of pesticides, herbicides, and other toxic crap all over acres and acres and hectares of the world, when if we just let the damn things evolve, most of the problems would solve themselves.

Case in point: The Russet Burbank potato. It has been cloned, and cloned, and cloned again, every year, for every crop, and the bugs just ADORE them. It is to the point where it costs more to grow potatos than people will pay for them (leading to the government subsidization of potato growing, but that's a rant for another day). McDonald's and other fast food joints want Russet Burbanks because they're big and make long french-fries, so the world gets Russet Burbanks and to hell with the fact that vast tracts of Idaho are being turned into a sterilized wasteland.

This leads to my comment that if you want to save the environment, screw the snowy owls; quit eating french-fries.

Anyway. Where was I?

Right. Cloning crops and pesticide.

Another crop having major problems, like the potato, is the apple. The 'youngest' strain of apple commonly available these days is the Granny Smith, and it's about a hundred years old, if memory serves. (And it's originally from Australia. Go, Oz!) Apples are another crop that is extremely costly to grow, due to pesticide and herbicide (and fungicide, and bacteriocide and everythingcide) spraying.

So what do the idiot scientists do? Map the apple genome. Do they figure out ways to create new, more viable apple strains? Fuck no!

THEY FIND A WAY TO MAKE APPLES REDDER.

Fucking morons.

THREE DAYS, people.

Well, two, now, because I'm posting a photo today. It's been THREE STINKING DAYS since I posted a baby photo. You guys are acting like heroin junkies, I swear.

From April:

So much for that willpower thing.

Scarves? Feh.



That's the start of the Baby Surprise Jacket from "The Opinionated Knitter" by EZ. I'm using Dale of Norway's "Baby Ull" and the blue and pink yarn I dyed last week. I hope I don't run out.

I wonder how long I can put off doing these scarves, and still get them done? (Have I mentioned I need them done by the middle of December because we're going to Ohio early?)

I'm also re-inventing the wheel and tweaking the design on the Geometric Star jacket. I don't like how the centers of the stars look, and I don't like the fit. So I'm changing it. And I'm not putting ribbing on the waist, either. And the collar needs fixed. And...

Gonna be one of those days.

The yarn I soaked last night? The light blue? I put the pink overdye on this morning and it came out looking like vomit.

It's in the trash can now.

There's a book for dyers called "Blue and Yellow Don't Make Green". I'm thinking maybe I need a copy of it. Though in my case it's "light blue and pink make vomit". Either way.


Plus, I've finally decided it's time to get these mohair scarves over with. It's all I've got on the needles at the moment and I'm tired of them hanging over my head. Time to get the Christmas knitting over with, once and for all.

Ug.

Time to scare the muggles.

As the Yarn Harlot calls non-knitters.

Normally I don't do this stuff, but I'm all in favor of skewing research results in favor of knitting.

There's a tech researcher who is trying to figure out how fast stuff can spread across blogs. He's doing it by tracking a link back to his own blog page explaining the project, here. So click on over, get the link, put a link to it in a blog entry of your own, (like I'm doing right here - and make sure you tell all your other readers to do it) and then leave a link to YOU in his comments.

I'm thinking the way knit bloggers interact, we should screw this thing all up by the weekend.

Power to the knitters, yo!

This is all April's fault.

She insisted on sending me a yarn gift certificate in return for the blocking I'm doing for her. (After she explained that by keeping me happy, she is keeping the husbeast - who is in the military - happy, and therefore she is helping protect the United States and supporting the troops, and by purchasing the gift certificate from Elann she is supporting the economy of her own country, well, how could I say no?)

So, I went on over to Elann this morning with my shade card in my grubby little hand. And I realized almost every color was in stock. Then I had a very dangerous thought:

Why not kick off the Year of Me by knitting the sweater I've wanted to knit since 1987?

That's right. "Geometric Star" from "Glorious Knitting" by Kaffe Fassett.

I've been running patterns, photos, and shade cards through the copier to get the right color intensities, in an attempt to figure out what colors I need. (There will, hopefully, be an article in the next Knitty on how to do that.) I half think I'm crazy, but hell, I've got the skill to do it, and how much LONGER am I going to wait? The pattern will be twenty years old next year. Seems like it's about time.

The lace pullover and the mitered pullover, both out of cotton (both that I already have the yarn for), are getting pushed back to summer. Or closer to summer. Or 2008. Whatever.



Oh, and I'm also soaking more yarn for a tie-dye job:

Would you look at that.

That's the "Celtic Lattice" vest from "Folk Vests" by Cheryl Oberle. The large pattern of loops is chart number 97 from "Celtic Charted Designs" by Co Spinhoven. And the little ribbony pattern is an un-numbered border from plate number 29. Both are identical; I counted stitches.

Somehow I'm not quite as outraged by this, because to my knowledge, Cheryl Oberle has never sued anyone over copyright issues.

I also know that Meg Swansen has used some of these patterns in sweaters, but considering how good-humored Schoolhouse Press is about everyone in the universe using the Percentage System with never a peep about copyrights, I say she can use anything she wants.

Still, I'm amazed at all the places this book's charts are turning up. There's one other one in the book that I KNOW I've seen somewhere before. I'll figure it out. (Have I mentioned I have a strange visual memory, not quite photographic? It works with color, too.)

Bloody damned cat.

A plethora of finished stuff.

Today was a wild day of casting off, grafting, blocking, and baby wrangling (she's got molars coming in).

First, the Knucks. (Knuck knuck knuck.)

They are knit with Silky Wool by Elsebeth Lavold, color number ten, which I'm gonna call denim blue. There is 190 yards in a ball, and I used one ball with that much left over (and I knit the cuffs extra-long to keep my wrists warm). If you're looking for a one-skein knit, these are your deal. And I started them, what, a week ago? They don't take long and the construction is kind of fun. I've got a few ends left to darn in, but otherwise, they're good to go.

The baby thinks they're freaky, but she better get used to them 'cause I plan to wear them all winter.




Then... THE HUSBEAST GANSEY!!

All I had to do was graft the arm pits, trim off a buncha yarn ends, and block it:

I'll take better pictures of it once it's dry, and post a pattern soon, but there you go. Photographic evidence that it's done. By the end of November.

Now all I have left on the needles is that one fucking scarf. Uf.

Oh, look! A baby!

Another fun thing about grandparents - they have no shame when it comes to taking cameras everywhere, and snapping photos wherever they happen to be. This was taken last Wednesday when we were out shopping.

A question.

My lace-blocking client and I are having a disagreement about compensation for blocking a lace scarf for her. (Process described in detail, here.) She's trying to overpay me, so don't take her to task over it.

So. What do YOU think is a fair trade, in either cash or yarn, for blocking a lace scarf?

(Hah. Try and overpay ME.)




Here's the baby, doing Transcendental Meditation in her toys. I don't have the heart to tell her that the secret to enlightenment is YARN. Ohhhhmmmm.