Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Madness!

I keep trying to come up with major, fascinating blog topics. We've seen how well that works. So instead, I shall now live-blog the stream of my alleged consciousness while I do the pre-Thanksgiving baking. Since y'all seem to think that's funny.

Went to the grocery store at eight AM. I wanted to go at seven when they opened but I just couldn't drag my ass out of bed that early. It was me and ten other hard-core bakers jostling in the raw materials aisle, stockists, and about twenty older guys who'd probably been up since five AM before their wives sent them out for some invented ingredient to get them out of their hair. Sent one guy to the exotic foods section for rye flour. I managed not to laugh, but it was close.

The folks who cook two from-scratch meals a year were showing up when I left at nine, their eyes wheeling in their heads like demented chameleons.

Got the kid a sled for winter. They had them, and if I wait until it snows, I'll never find one then.

Pumpkin pie in oven. Schedule is going great; I will fall asleep this afternoon and totally blow it. Next up, haupia. That's coconut custard.

Ham thawed. Turkey still frozen.

Turkey floating in laundry sink.

If the cat shits on the floor one more time, I'm turning her into bedroom slippers.

Phineas and Ferb marathon, for the win.

Goober quote: "Blue and orange mix together to make PLAID!" Oh, if only, kid. I'd make a fortune.

Right. Time to make haupia. (That's coconut custard. The husbeast got addicted to it in Hawaii.) I'm making the Cheater's Version with corn starch. Not exactly traditional, corn starch. Ha.

Haupia done, cooling, looking much like an 8x8 dish of wallpaper paste. Easy fast, and that's good 'cause I hate coconut.

Hub home with rum. We're now standing around doing quotes from Pirates of the Caribbean. WHY ARE YOU BURNING THE RUM? Yes, I intend to bake with it. Drinking it is so passe.

Forgot to set the timer for the pumpkin pie. So much for that 'getting stuff done early' thing. ARGH.

Saved the pie. No pumpkin flambe this year. Whew.

Husbeast and kid will want lunch. Homicide is still illegal in this state, isn't it? Can I shoot him and say I mistook him for a deer? Hmmm.

Just - duh - realized I am doing all the baking in a GAS OVEN this year. Oy vey. Natural gas creates water vapor when it burns; electricity of course doesn't create vapor when it heats. So it's different. At least it is to hard core bakers who've baked in electric ovens for TWENTY YEARS and suddenly switches to gas. AAAH!

I has a foozy kitty. Eeeee!

Knitting break. Like a dandelion break, but different.

The garter square sock toe is a thing of genius and beauty. Plus it's nice and squooshy soft. Cat Bordhi is the Einstein of socks. Truly. This has the simplistic elegance of E=mc2, and is more useful. (Physics people, do not send hate letters, or worse, letters about kinetic energy, relativistic mass, or space-time. Space-time and quantum gravity give me migraines.)

Getting the cheesecake ingredients out of the fridge so they can get to room temp before I make the thing. The Goober wants to help. Won't that be fun? Should only take twice as long that way. Three times, tops.

Have given up and am now making tea by the half gallon. I've got a thermal carafe around here somewhere... anyone remember where I put it when I unpacked it? I could tell you just where it was in the kitchen in South Carolina. Fat lot of good THAT does me now. (Better a lost carafe than back in South Carolina, though. Definitely.)

Note to self: Don't shake the whipping cream before you open it, dumbass.

So. Thermal carafe...

And damn it, now my Kindle's gone, too.

Kid is laying on the tile floor in the entryway, yelling that it's cold. I said if it was so cold, why in heck didn't she get up? She told me she was pretending she was at the bottom of the ocean.

Caillou, you whining, obnoxious puddle of puss. Go slap your mother for raising a whining snotbag.

Sekhmet is laying on the Goober's lap. It's starting to freak me out.

Kid is telling knock-knock jokes. I'm gonna go start the cheesecake and save myself.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE! Whether you celebrate it or not, have a fine day.

13 comments:

Catie said...

yep, i love your stream of thought posts (or that's what they seem like to me). Happy thanksgiving!

pawdua said...

Love your post. Such a great description of family life pre-turkey day. It's pouring rain and 30- something here in St. Louis so woke up, didn't send offspring to school or get bloodwork. We turned up the electric blanket. I'm now about 6 hours behind on turning 48 eggs into 96 reviled eggs and making pumpkin custard for offspring. The precipitation is supposed to freeze tomorrow so I may end up taking reviled eggs door to door if the roads get bad. I love Thanksgiving. Happy Turkey Day.

Anonymous said...

thanks for posting. I hope things calm down Happy Thankgiving.

Why doesn't the husbest take the goob out for lunch?

Louiz said...

Have a good day. Caillou sounds annoying. I hate knock knock jokes now I'm not 5 myself. Good luck.

justthreadtwiddling said...

Thank you!! You have saved me from going into the kitchen and making piecrust for C's pecan pie! I did get the bread dough mixed. For a hostess gift I'm taking a loaf of fresh baked bread and a basket with a few small jars of homemade jam and jelly.

Barbara said...

While I love your major educational posts, I'd rather stream of thought posts than silence. Plus you're funny when you're crazy. Yes, homicide is still illegal.

verification word: chumid=chilly and humid, leading to fog and slick roads

Anonymous said...

One bottle of rum? *snort* You should come over here... we have the drinking rum, the cooking rum and the company rum.

Hope you have a happy thanksgiving regardless. :)

Galad said...

I love these posts too. It's such an interesting place in your head :-)

Calliou is not one of my favorites either. Never knew he existed until I started watching Sprout TV with my grandson. He prefers the Wiggles.

PICAdrienne said...

Rum for half the liquid in pie crust is yummy. Try that for a way to burn the rum. Although the rum will still be gone at the end of the day, and that is sad, sometimes.

NeedleTart said...

This must be the year of rum. Last night I made Dorrie Greenspan's apple cake with rum. The crumbs were delicious, The Husband asked if we could have it for dessert last night, seriously, before Thanksgiving.
Glad to hear from you. Your such a good blogger we worry just a tad when you go silent (says the blogger whose last post was Oct. 3).
Happy Turkey Day (and if the husbeast goes out on Monday and doesn't wear orange, you might have a defense).

Mandy said...

My sister made smoked pumpkin pies one year - of course, she didn't tell us that something spilled in the oven and burned while she was baking until we were putting bites into our mouths! Smoked pumpkin pie does not taste good (let's leave it at that), and even the lovely decorated pie dishes were unusable after that. We still laugh about those pies.

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving in your new house!

Roxie said...

I have discoverd flavored rums for the rumballs. Cherry rum in one batch, vanilla spice in another. Cherry rum in the tea. Maybe vanilla rum in some oatmeal cookies. Heck, how about cherry rum on the oatmeal and t'heck witha cookies? Dab some rum behind th ears and see iff spouse finds me irrresistbl. Dab some rum onna spouse and see if heez resistabll

Leonie said...

My boys are currently addicted to knock knock jokes. We have the usual "arch", "boo" and "two" giving us a sneeze, a cry and an owl. Their favourites though are "smellip" and "stinkip" they are balls after all :-)