By request. I'm not aiming for snark, here. What I'm gonna do is just a stream of consciousness of what I think of some of the 'great designers' are doing this season. You can all decide if it's funny, snarky, or educational. I can never guess ahead of time what's going to set all of you off.
Anyone wanting to check in and tell me I have no fashion sense, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm unpopular, I don't get it, feel free. Remember I've got a hit logger and have seen it all before.
Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel:
Lagerfeld keeps producing collections based on men Chanel allegedly boffed. Which strikes me as really fucked up (ha), but I'm not an artiste. This collection is supposed to be inspired by some Russian Grand Duke. (I am very skeptical of Chanel's claims that she slept with 2/3 of the male royalty of Europe.) Can't wait to see what Lagerfeld produces when he gets around to Chanel's Nazi boyfriend from WW2. The Nazi Paris Ritz Collection. Wrap the models up in swastika flags and barbed wire. Anyway. I keep thinking if you divided this chick at the neck, her head would look fine in a sultan's harem in Cordoba in about 850CE, and her body belongs in post-WW2-Europe when they were rationing fabric and women were making suits with as little material as possible. They even dressed up their outfits with little splashes of color. Like a bright red belt. LoveloveLOVE the shoes, though.
Apparently we're recycling the forties, this year. You know. While doing everything NEW! and ORIGINAL! and ARTY! Personally I'd have chosen a decade without clothes rationing, but I suspect I think differently than these folks.
With all this in mind, I started hitting the bigger, older design houses first. The ones who've been doing this a while. Just to see what's what.
Latter-day ninja warrior meets runway 2009. Where's the sword? Shouldn't there at least be a fake sword? She could wear it across her back like Conan the Barbarian. Who wasn't a ninja, but wore his sword... oh, never mind. Seeing as the model looks like a post in this, I can't imagine it being flattering on anyone else. And as if winter weren't dismal enough, most of the designers went with a neutral palette this year. Like the boots, though.
Parka over miniskirt with hunormous bag. Didn't we all dress like this at age 18 in winter? Wear cute little dress, fling parka over top, freeze our kneecaps off? Plus a big bag to haul around all the crap we didn't need? I can almost feel my knees ache, looking at this and thinking of winter. I need a new pair of those 'granny boots'. Had a pair just like that and wore them until they fell apart.
Dior's recycling the New Look, because apparently it didn't suck enough the first time around. At least this time we're not wearing girdles. I hope to hell. Does that bag look like a black plastic garbage bag, or is it me?
Oscar de la Renta:
I had high hopes for Oscar. Usually he doesn't let me down. Sigh. Can't really see the shoes, either.
I took a look at Michael Kors' stuff, because we always love him so when he produces stuff for Vogue Knitting. (Or rather, he has a minion produce stuff for VK and signs his name to it for big bucks.)
Yeah. Good to see he's keeping up the good work.
Oddly, I couldn't find any of the other 'big names' VK produces. Perhaps it was the web site I was using. Perhaps.
Donna Karan went fuzzy this year:
I hope to hell that's warm. (Great shoes.)
But our old buddy Issac Mizrahi didn't let us down.
Still not sure it's warm, but you might look pretty in it. With different shoes.