Friday, August 28, 2009

Fashion review, fall 2009.

By request. I'm not aiming for snark, here. What I'm gonna do is just a stream of consciousness of what I think of some of the 'great designers' are doing this season. You can all decide if it's funny, snarky, or educational. I can never guess ahead of time what's going to set all of you off.

Anyone wanting to check in and tell me I have no fashion sense, I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm unpopular, I don't get it, feel free. Remember I've got a hit logger and have seen it all before.

Karl Lagerfeld for Chanel:

Lagerfeld keeps producing collections based on men Chanel allegedly boffed. Which strikes me as really fucked up (ha), but I'm not an artiste. This collection is supposed to be inspired by some Russian Grand Duke. (I am very skeptical of Chanel's claims that she slept with 2/3 of the male royalty of Europe.) Can't wait to see what Lagerfeld produces when he gets around to Chanel's Nazi boyfriend from WW2. The Nazi Paris Ritz Collection. Wrap the models up in swastika flags and barbed wire. Anyway. I keep thinking if you divided this chick at the neck, her head would look fine in a sultan's harem in Cordoba in about 850CE, and her body belongs in post-WW2-Europe when they were rationing fabric and women were making suits with as little material as possible. They even dressed up their outfits with little splashes of color. Like a bright red belt. LoveloveLOVE the shoes, though.

Apparently we're recycling the forties, this year. You know. While doing everything NEW! and ORIGINAL! and ARTY! Personally I'd have chosen a decade without clothes rationing, but I suspect I think differently than these folks.

With all this in mind, I started hitting the bigger, older design houses first. The ones who've been doing this a while. Just to see what's what.


Latter-day ninja warrior meets runway 2009. Where's the sword? Shouldn't there at least be a fake sword? She could wear it across her back like Conan the Barbarian. Who wasn't a ninja, but wore his sword... oh, never mind. Seeing as the model looks like a post in this, I can't imagine it being flattering on anyone else. And as if winter weren't dismal enough, most of the designers went with a neutral palette this year. Like the boots, though.


Parka over miniskirt with hunormous bag. Didn't we all dress like this at age 18 in winter? Wear cute little dress, fling parka over top, freeze our kneecaps off? Plus a big bag to haul around all the crap we didn't need? I can almost feel my knees ache, looking at this and thinking of winter. I need a new pair of those 'granny boots'. Had a pair just like that and wore them until they fell apart.


Dior's recycling the New Look, because apparently it didn't suck enough the first time around. At least this time we're not wearing girdles. I hope to hell. Does that bag look like a black plastic garbage bag, or is it me?

Oscar de la Renta:

I had high hopes for Oscar. Usually he doesn't let me down. Sigh. Can't really see the shoes, either.

I took a look at Michael Kors' stuff, because we always love him so when he produces stuff for Vogue Knitting. (Or rather, he has a minion produce stuff for VK and signs his name to it for big bucks.)

Yeah. Good to see he's keeping up the good work.

Oddly, I couldn't find any of the other 'big names' VK produces. Perhaps it was the web site I was using. Perhaps.

Donna Karan went fuzzy this year:

I hope to hell that's warm. (Great shoes.)

But our old buddy Issac Mizrahi didn't let us down.

Still not sure it's warm, but you might look pretty in it. With different shoes.


Nalamienea said...

I agree with you for the most part, but I think I'm for the Dior look. I like it! (sans the garbage bag.)

And as Target dress has me a little perplexed... does it look more like a bath robe to you? lol

Alwen said...

Every so often I see stuff like you posted the other day and think about dressing in something other than jeans and a t-shirt. Then I look at the designer stuff, and pull a clean t-shirt out of the drawer.

There is just no way I like or want to sew enough to dress like Fantasy Me dresses.

Galad said...

I've never really understood high fashion anyway. I'm mostly a jeans and t-shirt person.

Yes, I think it is a garbage bag. Does that mean I'm high fashion when I take the trash out?

artificiallymythic said...

Haute Couture has always disappointed me. This year is no different to the last. (Oh, and did they steal that headdress from queen Amidala?!)

Bring on the jeans and a couple nice t-shirts and a few cardi's. They'll always be in fashion!

Elly said...

No, silly, the last outfit is UNDER the dressing gown!

(Also word verification: winesse. This is what I have when I am still being diplomatic after half a bottle of wine).

Roxie said...

Karl Lagerfield: I WANT the hat! Halloween is right around the corner. And can I have the suit in a size 18, in mauve crepe wool with a lilac belt and a knee-length skirt?

Hemlines used to be an economic indicator. The higher the hems, the better the economy. I'm not sure what to make of these new looks.

Oh, and the greige evening gown? The model might try wearing it without the undershirt and the warm gloves and boots. The Grecian look is such a classic.

I'm old enough to remember when a nice suit was a staple in every woman's wardrobe. I like the polished look of the fourties and early fifties, but you are so right about the underpinnings. The merry widow corset used to be considered day wear. No wonder everyone had such a neat waist and fainted at the drop of a hat.

Amy Lane said...

Yeah-- I'm with you. MIzhrai is the best of the bunch... but with a slightly different shade of either bronze or blue, I might have not hated the de la Renta. It looks... uhm... very 80's.

Roz said...

More snark, please!

Actually -- could you do a shoe review? Need to add style and comfort to my closet, and I'm not feeling the gladiator look that's seemingly everywhere. Must think about the coming snow and slush, after all.

Donna Lee said...

The sad part is that someone who only cares what the name is on the label will buy these clothes for exhorbitant amts of money and wear them out of the house. Even the thing with feathers.

Lola said...

I'm waiting for someone to discover the 1900s decade. Will I be waiting till the moon turns blue?

Jessica said...

Actually, the Lagerfeld hat is based on traditional Russian headwear, called a kokoshnik. It probably developed in that form in the 17th century, from what little research I've done (I'm a historical clothing geek, but have not extensively studied Russian costume). The shape of the Lagerfeld hat is pretty typical, though a bit exaggerated, I think. As soon as I saw it, I thought, "Oh, a kokoshnik! Interesting."