We got a box of curricula in the mail today. After I got done with the anxiety attack and breathed into a paper bag for a while (half kidding on that one), I got on the phone with the academic adviser and we discussed exactly how the Goob was supposed to 'test out' of this stuff.
After that, the kid and I sat down at the kitchen table with the tests and we patiently started working through them. Some of it was a quiz sort of thing - "Find something tall. Find something short." Some of it was coloring, both to show fine motor skills, some of it to show she knows colors and right/left, that kind of thing. Some of the questions I had to answer were pretty weird - does she understand manners? Well, geez, she's FIVE. She doesn't spit on people, but she's sure as heck not Emily Post, either.
Anyway, things are in motion and it seems to be going all right.
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Waaaay back, around the time the husbeast and I got married, I was reading an unauthorized history of the early years of the Disney animation studios. Supposedly, when the guys were impressed with someone's abilities, the phrase to use was "He can draw his ass". I mentioned this to the husbeast, and being a Navy dude who enjoyed a rude turn of phrase, it sort of stuck. Over the years I've heard a lot of variations, like "he can weld his ass" or "he can build his ass", or one year after Thanksgiving dinner, "you can cook your ass".
Today, 'testing' the Goober, well, I was struck, and could only think of one phrase.
My kid can color her ass.
17 comments:
Bah ha ha!
Yes she can.
I'm just clamping my two hands over my mouth. heh.
Ah, shoot. I said sh!t in school today. I can see @$$ in my future. I had third graders who can't color that well today. Congrats. One weird thing. I taught kindergarten yesterday and the kids had to write a story. Yeah. Kindergartenders. Writing. *Sigh*
This cracked me up. My grandpa's favorite denial phrase is "your ass!" As in something like this-
Anyone: "That guy can really weld."
Grandpa: "Your ass he can!"
There's also, "If it was up your ass, you'd know where it was" anytime anyone asks about the location of a missing item. "Your ass" also works as a warning for him. He bought a new knife that was very sharp and warned me with, "Be careful, that thing'll cut your ass!" Well no, it won't because it won't be anywhere near my ass.
I think you'd fit in rather well in my family.
Holy smokes, she rocked that rainbow. Give yourself a little pat on the back, Mom, you are doing something right. That rainbow alone should be a gold ticket to Kindergarten - she's got focus.
In my house if you ask where something is, my husbeast will tell you "up your ass eating a ham sandwich."
NO idea where that came from.
Around here, it's "that's a big ass car" or "that's a ugly ass cat". I'm not sure why ass belongs in there but it seems to emphasize the point and everyone seems to like saying ass.
One of the problems my daughter had upon entering Kindergarten was that she couldn't/wouldn't color in the lines. I had never given her coloring books, only paper and she didn't like being told where to put the color. It was a problem.
Hilarity ensues! Now that I've read the previous comments, I foresee SEVERAL new phrases entering my household. Plus, Donna Lee's mention of "ass" used for emphasis reminded me of the discussion in the movie "Barber Shop" of the differing nuances between "big ass woman" and "woman with a big ass". . . always good to start the day with some snorting laughter.
-- Gretchen
You bet your ass that kid can color! And, rather nicely too, I might add.
As for manners and 5, please, thank you, taking turns and not inflicting bodily fluids on others pretty much covers it. Oh, and no biting.
I remember flunking a coloring assignment because...well, I was supposed to color 5 pigs pink. I was bored with coloring numbers of objects, so I just colored all the pigs at once, including the space between...and flunked.
I also remember trying out new names. For some reason, I fixed on "Sleepy", which I guess sounded pretty to me, so I signed my work (we had to sign our names) "Sleepy Faxon". The teacher was furious; she thought I was being sarcastic.
I think you & the Goob are going to do brilliantly together. What a bright kid!
so sad that schools are no better in dealing with bright little ones than 60+ years ago, when being able to read before kindergarten made me a PROBLEM.
it's a good thing i was a relatively docile child, because otherwise my level of intense boredom would have led to my being spanked regularly in the principal's office. luckily, the principal LIKED me and, for my kindergarten year, made me his "messenger" who carried notes, dittos (ask your grandma, kids!), etc. all around an ancient two-story k-6 grade school. meanwhile, the k teacher was trying to make sure all 30 kids could be promoted to 1st by being able to recite the alphabet and count to 100.
as for the 600 hours of instruction? no problem. every time you cook something and she measures ingredients, that's math. when she paints or draws real pictures, or makes something with clay or play-doh, that's art. (coloring pictures someone else drew isn't art, but it does help fine motor skills.) when you find bugs and butterflies, and identify them, or see whether a quarter or a feather falls faster, that's science.
you'll have to do some things in the curriculum as "proof," but she's no doubt beyond parts of its requirements already, like early reading. someone was surprised by the idea of writing a story in kindergarten, but many kids are capable of that -- if they've heard other stories. totally on her own, grandgirl, now 8, wrote a book of several stories between k and 1st. they were about her friends and her pets. were they great? no. but they let her show that she understood that a story has a beginning and an end, and that something happens in between. and they were a self-chosen reason to practice printing.
kids WANT to learn. they want to master their environment. they want to tell you what they see, and ask you why the sky is blue. they want to be "big" and use real tools like measuring cups and screwdrivers. she already loves books and has a rich home environment and parents who DO things, not just veg out in front of the tv.
in other words, as long as learning is part of living, she's off to a great start!
btw: my verification word perfectly fits policies that hold bright kids back:
dumbar
so sad that schools are no better in dealing with bright little ones than 60+ years ago, when being able to read before kindergarten made me a PROBLEM.
luckily, the principal LIKED me and, for my kindergarten year, made me his "messenger" who carried notes, dittos (ask your grandma, kids!), etc. all around an ancient two-story k-6 grade school. meanwhile, the k teacher was trying to make sure all 30 kids could be promoted to 1st by being able to recite the alphabet and count to 100.
600 hours of instruction? no problem. if you cook and she measures ingredients, that's math. when she paints or draws ror makes something with clay or play-doh, that's art. (coloring pictures someone else drew isn't art, but it does help fine motor skills.) when you find bugs and butterflies, and identify them, or see whether a quarter or a feather falls faster, that's science.
you'll have to do some things in the curriculum as "proof," but she's no doubt beyond parts of its requirements already, like early reading. someone was surprised by the idea of writing a story in kindergarten, but many kids are capable of that -- if they've heard other stories. totally on her own, grandgirl, now 8, wrote a book of several stories between k and 1st. they were about her friends and her pets. were they great? no. but they let her show that she understood that a story has a beginning and an end, and that something happens in between. and they were a self-chosen reason to practice printing.
kids WANT to learn. they want to master their environment. they want to tell you what they see, and ask you why the sky is blue. they want to be "big" and use real tools like measuring cups and screwdrivers. she already loves books and has a rich home environment and parents who DO things, not just veg out in front of the tv.
in other words, as long as learning is part of living, she's off to a great start!
btw: my verification word perfectly fits policies that hold bright kids back:
dumbar
sorry for double-post. system said it was too long to post, but did it anyway. meanwhile, i shrank it slightly and tried again.
dumbar, for sure!
And she really does shoot rainbows out of it! Awesome!
so I want to know--did she pick the ROY G. BIV accuracy, or did you have a hand in that?
Trish
I so enjoy your blog and just wanted to pop in to say hello. Like yourself I am a navy wife. I grew up in northwestern PA and so love your photos of my home state. And yes, your kid can "color her ass". She is too special for words. Enjoy your retirement, we are 4 1/2 years out from that. Looking for sea duty orders this month. Yikes!
Manners- they're teaching them in school these days?
Do tell....
Pretty rainbow, really and truly.
I will be borrowing that phrase.
Also, the Goob has mad coloring skillz.
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