Monday, March 23, 2015

Musings while re-knitting lace mistakes.



While "mostly stockinette" does translate to "less difficult", having umpty-eleven double yarnovers all over the place bumps up the difficulty again. Pulling the whole thing off the needles and simply unraveling is almost impossible with double and triple yarnovers, so you have to tink back stitch by stitch to correct mistakes, and that's always fucking tedious. Especially on center-out laces that have more stitches per row, the further on you knit.

Various types of yarnovers jumbled into a single row also ups the difficulty. I've got here, I shit thee not, a row with single, double, and triple yarnovers in it. You'd think 'oh, it's just like any other stitch', but no. It can get pretty damn confusing.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. IT IS NOT COMPLICATED, BRAIN, SO QUIT FUCKING IT UP YOU STUPID PUDDLE OF WATER.

I really like a good blurple.

Variegated yarn and lace to not mix well. Even an ombre/semi-solid like this one isn't the best choice. BUT, the varied colors do make it easier to see where in hell the yarn is going, when you need to tink back or fix something later.

Feh.

COUNT YOUR FUCKING STITCHES AND QUIT WITH THIS SMUG "I can read my knitting, I'll go by landmarks" BULLSHIT. This is how you wind up ten rows into something going "hey, where did that fourth pattern repeat go?" you idiot.

HOW IS IT I AM MISSING ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING STITCH WHEN I GODDAMN COUNTED THESE LAST THREE MOTHERFUCKING ROWS?

...brain, you piece of shit. I said EIGHTEEN.

I need more medication. Or less. Hmmmm. Caffeine could solve this. Sleep is for the weak.

For a balanced single decrease (hey, I'm obsessive about symmetry), slip one, knit ONE, pass the slipped stitch over. Two stitches into one, and it doesn't lean in either direction. You're welcome.

Back to where I started tinking back. Pretty sure all my yarnovers are where they belong and the stitch counts came out right. Instead of hitting post, I guess I'm gonna stay on, blather a bit, and then do some commentary about a shawl I need to block.

Next, row eighty-two. Of two hundred and fifty-seven.

"It'll be an interesting zombie project" I said. BULLSHIT, BITCH, YOU'RE ALTERING GERMAN LACE ARE YOU CRAZY?

Took a break to play one of those stupid Facebook-integrated games on my iThing. I have been destroyed by fanged Easter eggs and a zombie bunny. Where do I file the complaint.

ROW EIGHTY TWO. DAMN IT.

Checking on a calculator to make sure eight and eight make sixteen. It is turning into that kind of a day. Now singing the inchworm song I can only remember the numbers part of.

If this ear worm doesn't back off soon, I will play John Phillip Sousa and show it who is boss. Except then I'd have JPS marches stuck in my head. Decisions.

If Honu had thumbs, I could teach her to make me tea.

I cannot begin to express how much I wish medical marijuana was legal in this state. LOTS. LOTS AND LOTS. AND THEN MORE.

Got the blocking boards out of the basement while I threw in a load of laundry. I think I heard the husbeast muttering something about an apocalypse while I was sorting laundry.

Dropping the needles in the middle of a row to explain fractions and ratios and numerators and denominators to the Goober is not doing a single damn thing to help my ability to count to eight.

My beloved child has decided to play SkyLanders loudly in the same room I'm in. May the sweet baby Buddha and his eight tiny reindeer save me. Upcoming, Goob quotes.

"Wait, that guy's a guy?" Now spelling out her name with destruction and shrapnel. "Okay, this is awesome!"

Me: "You do know, if I catch you doing this to real, actual sheep, I will kill you, right?"

I met a gin-soaked barroom queen in Memphis. She tried to take me upstairs for a ride. (Kid doing backup vocals.)

As soon as I picked up the knitting after dinner, the laundry buzzer went off. Heavy sigh.


...right. Headache medication finally kicked in and I've decided tomorrow is soon enough for blocking ANYTHING that requires eleventy-hundred pins. I'm going to bed. Here, have pictures of the finished spinning and the cat helping me knit.



5 comments:

bekswhoknits said...

I'm sorry. Are you me?

Fuck counting.

Deb said...

Have you thought about using a music stand to hold your chart? It won't help with ripping out stitches, but it could help with the ruler problem...

Emily said...

Oh boy, have I been there. I use zillions of markers and it still happens. By now I know that for me it's usually forgetting yarn overs, or getting confused and marching bravely off in the wrong direction. My brain is far more limited than yours and I have to proceed accordingly.

ali said...

i definitely choose projects, or at least variations within a project, based on minimizing the counting that i have to do. i haven't gotten into lace yet, but it is a future goal! :)

Kitsune said...

I am very sorry that you knitting isn't going well, but mostly I love the colors on that last shot of your spun yarn. :)