Wednesday, February 06, 2013


I have this little problem. See, the husbeast and I have a long history. It's led to a lot of inside jokes and other shared... experiences, so that seemingly mundane things will set me off giggling. (Especially when I'm on these damn antidepressants.)

Lo, these many years ago, about ten, I think, we were living in Hawaii. Every year, when the rainy season starts, everything flowers. It's sort of like spring on the mainland. So everything would flower and pollinate  and I'd react to something (I think it was the tree in the front yard), and I'd wind up with pneumonia.

Every. Damn. Year.

The first year, it was just one of those things, whatever, I dealt with it. The second year, I was sensing a trend and not amused. By the third year? Oh, I was fed the hell up and not tolerating any more of that shit. So I ignored the congestion, the cough, the laryngitis, and ignored it, and ignored it.

The husbeast watched all this, having been around for all three rounds of pneumonia. He didn't say much. (He never really does.) One day, around noon, he called me from work. He'd made an appointment for me, with my doctor. He was coming home to get me and take me. My choice in the matter was whether to get dressed or be wrapped in a blanket and stuffed in the bed of the truck. At the time, he was healthier and I was skinnier and it was a valid threat. I knew he'd do it.

I got dressed.

When I left the exam room, the husbeast met me in the waiting room. We were surrounded by patients, nurses, receptionists, and doctors. I said "It's pneumonia." The husbeast said "YOU DUMBASS."

Everyone gasped.

I rolled my eyes and went off to the pharmacy for my meds.

At the pharmacy, in the waiting room full of people, the husbeast asked what meds I had. I said "It's a Z Pack, like I had last year." He said "YOU DUMBASS."

Everyone gasped.

I rolled my eyes and went off to the truck to go home.

So, fast forward ten, fifteen years, and I'm sitting in the doctor's office here, and the doctor says "It's pneumonia."

I started laughing. I can't help it. I'm sane, I swear.

(No the husbeast was not there to call me dumbass, and he might not have anyway -- I've gotten a little smarter about this stuff.)


Alacaeriel said...

That's more interesting than my chronic sinusitis, though. I just get sighs of "again?"

Besides, aren't you a long way away from Hawai'i now?

Barbara said...

pneumonia is not the Hawai'ian souvenir I'd have chosen but to each her own.

the medicos don't react well when I say that Durwood can't kick the bucket yet (he has severe COPD and a spot on one lung that they're "watching") because I don't want to have to start cooking again. (see, he's taken over kitchen duties since he retired) it's more words than "you dumbass" but conveys the same sentiment. they just don't get it. he does.

Emily said...

Well, by now you know what's going on each year, which is a huge help.

Losing your brother and Sekhmet would knock your immunity down, not to mention the Eeyore stuff. You've had a rough go. But I would rather have you moan in your blog (you make anything interesting, I swear) than not know how you are.

Kitsune said...

I think that the fact you have things like that to laugh about is a good thing. Means you've had a good relationship thus far.

Anonymous said...

I typically get sinus infections. This year? An ear infection. My 2 year old has never had one yet, but oh well. My hubby is a vet and loves to throw antibiotics at everything. This time I was very happy to tell him it was from a virus - antibiotics are not going to fix it.
So, for 10 days or so I ran random fevers and felt drunk. Hysterical without the booze.
Very glad to see you blogging again. You are one of my favorite voices. Good luck with the happy pills :) (trying that route myself)

KristieB said...

Gotta love those snipes! Husband shocked he new female EM in the shop yesterday by calling one of his other coworkers a dipstick. (The girl had to look it up, didn't know what a dipstick was. Which made me go O_o ) Get well, and the Goober too. This creeping crud of a kennel cough sweeping the nation is vicious.

Deb said...

Nothing like someone who loves you to tell it like it is.

Are you sure it's not allergies that are triggering the pneumonia? I know it used to do that to my son when he was little.

Feel better!

MLJ1954 said...

In so many ways, husband can be great fun . . . even when they aren't in the room, house, area, etc.

My hub's and I have been at it for almost 33 years. And, I gotta tell you, I thoroughly enjoy knowing what will make him chuckle or get pissy for that matter. Of course, he has so many allergies that I tell him that I could kill him with a dryer sheet tucked in his pillow. I think sometimes when he has been pissy, he checks to make sure that he won't be dead by morning!

Hope you are feeling better soon. Take your meds, all of them, like you should.