Pre-drafting.

I've been veeeeery gradually getting back to spinning, and noticed the other day that I had a fine example of what pre-drafting is, why you do it, and what it's good for.

For our discussion right now, I'm going to call pre-drafting everything you do between taking the fiber out of the sales bag when you get it home, and actually drawing it out into a ply at the spinning wheel or spindle. In a way it covers a lot of ground, but in a way it's all the same thing. For anyone who's curious, my entire (usual) spinning process is described in more depth, HERE.

In discussions around the 'net and in classes and elsewhere, it seems like pre-drafting is THE mythical skill, like heel-turning or steek-cutting is in knitting. People who aren't experienced are intimidated by it, people who HAVE done it are blase and dismiss it as a non-skill.

In short, what pre-drafting does is this: Whatever it takes to get the fiber loose enough to be drafted easily at the wheel. You want to fight and curse and get sore hands and shoulders, you don't have to pre-draft at all. But for a nice smooth spin (and I think since we're hobby spinners, enjoyment should be a goal), the fiber needs fluffed a bit, or unstuck. How you do it doesn't really matter, so long as there's no destruction of property.

Here, have a photo of what I'm talking about.

These balls of fiber are of equal weight. Due to dye processes, the top or roving (this is pencil roving) emerges smashed flat and slightly stuck together. NOT FELTED, just dense and a bit stuck. The best dyer in the world, doesn't matter, the fiber will be this way. What you've got to do is loosen up the fibers so they draft without you having to swear at them.

What I did was divided the pencil roving lengthwise. (It was so easy, I think the roving was doubled for the dye process, to begin with.) Then, the ball on the left, I went through and every four inches or so, gripped the roving and lightly pulled it apart. It's sort of like a half-draft: It's exactly the same pull-to-make-thinner that I do at the wheel, but not as drastically, and without any twist being added. The other popular way to fluff the fibers is to pull laterally and spread the fibers out that way - basically the opposite direction of this method. Dividing top lengthwise repeatedly is often enough to fluff out the the fibers all on its own, and it is the other method I use for this.

You can see, even if you don't spin, that this loosened the fibers quite a lot. I have since started spinning the pre-drafted fiber and it's drafting smoothly. Awesome.

Here's a more extreme example:

The fiber on the left is one half of the pencil roving as it came out of the package, simply rolled into a ball. The other half, I divided lengthwise and then pre-drafted. The ball on the left and the two on the right are of equal weight.

That's what pre-drafting is for. That's the only point. However you do it doesn't matter. There's no wrong way.

Now, for my next trick, I'm gonna turn a sock heel. Or maybe steek the cat. (Not really. Still knitting the third half-a-washcloth shawl.)

Back in the saddle.

I think.

It has been a really freaky two weeks here at House O Samurai. All of us are well, thanks to everyone who checked in to say hi and see if everything was okay. It is.

The big problem, I think, can be narrowed down to this:

That's my netbook. It had been acting funny, I'd run some virus scans, and it suddenly crashed. CMOS worked, and nothing else. At first I thought it was a virus, but considering reality and how I use my computer and everything, now I'm wavering between motherboard shorts, or the hard drive toasted. It's going to the shop tomorrow.

Then, my annoyance high, the tax return in my account, and a sale on the horizon... well...

Yeah. Fuck it. I've got back up now, damn it.

Plus, I've been doing OT twice a week, and in blinding pain. And, oh yeah.

The Goob's been sick.

Same old, same old.

I've done a little knitting on another Half-A-Washcloth Shawl, done a little spinning (and took pictures for a blog post). And, um, I have a loom scheduled for delivery tomorrow. Just a small one. Nothing extreme. No, really.

Really.

The Oscars! Red carpet!

I'm live-blogging the last two and a half hours of the red carpet festivities before the Oscars.

To put it bluntly, it's all about the clothes.

Now, I don't think it's fair - in fact, it should be illegal - to snap pics of stars at the grocery store, or otherwise on their own time. They're entitled to their privacy like everyone else.

But it's the OSCARS. It is very obviously a work event. Part of an actor's job is to look good. And anyone with 1/100th of a brain knows there are going to be photos and cameras and all sorts of news coverage. So.

Here we go.

ADDED LATER: I was gonna post ten million pictures to go with this, but then I came to my senses. If you're interested, all the photos I'm looking at can be found HERE. I put names to dress comments, so you can figure out who I'm talking about if you really want to.

Wolfgang Puck, food, blah blah. BRING ON THE CLOTHES.

Kelly Osbourne has fixed her hair. Sort of.

HOLLYWOOD. GET OVER THE BLACK. IT ISN'T SLIMMING. IT'S JUST BLACK.

Rose Berg (?) wearing a swathe of sequins. Excellent fitting. VIVIENNE WESTWOOD, BAYBEE.

Melissa McCarthy wearing drapey rose. Eh.

Some other bridesmaid, wearing another well-fitted dress in rose, beaded like mad. Neither one has boobs in her arm pits. I approve. This one's... someone I've never heard of.

Ellie Kemper. This is a badly fitted dress. Droopy boobs in the arm pits. Heavy sigh. Armani. Why didn't they fit it better?

Bernice who? Bejo? (Sorry folks, don't pay much attention to Serious Cinema.) It's a take on the old 'nude dress' that Marlene Deitrich made famous. But, not as sexy. Dress by Ellie Saab. Trying to figure out why it's so unflattering. I like the hair. Beats the scraggly just-rolled-out-of-bed look so many go with.

Hunger Games commercial. I may need to read that book.

George Clooney's girlfriend looks fabulous, but with him as an accessory, how could she miss? Dress by Marchesa.

Missi Pyle gets a salute just because she wore COLOR.

Another bridesmaid. Feh. Seriously?

Whose soul did Janyne Semour sell to Satan? How old is she? She was a Bond Girl back in the freaking SEVENTIES.

Jessica Chastain. Ornate. Looks like a McQueen? She's got the figure and the hair to carry it. Really nice. IT IS A McQUEEN. Go Julie! Though he's so distinctive it's hard to miss. Her boobs are in her arm pits, though. -sigh-

Dude. WTF is that white dress? Shailene Woodsley. (Tagging all this stuff with names so I can find photos for this later.) It's like a mutant Chanel. Is that her tits I'm looking at all through the white dot things? No. Don't want to know.

Judy Greer. THIS IS HOW YOU DO SLIMMING STRIPES BY THE GODS.

E: I don't give a shit what you think is a trend. Just tell me who in hell designed that dress. JUST ADMIT YOU'RE SHOCKED THAT PLUS SIZES CAN LOOK ATTRACTIVE YOU SKINNY BITCHES.

Okay, points to the E folks for calling Chastain's grandma to the camera.

Where is Benedict Cumberbatch, HMMMMM?

Michelle Williams. Peplum from hell, and I'm sorry, her hair always looks like it was cut with a Swiss Army Knife. Louis Vuitton. Sorry, honey, but that peplum? Just no. And why in fuck does my spell check not know 'peplum'.

To tell how well-made a dress is, and fitted, LOOK AT THE BOOOOOBS. Why why why aren't these things fit better?

Tux by Armani, blah blah, MOVE ON TO THE AWESOME DRESSES, MOFO.

This blog post is going to be three feet long.

Ryan Seacrest, a foot shorter than the women he interviews. Love it.

Hosts fawning over people. Blah, blah. Feh. CLOTHES, PEOPLE. CLOTHING.

Great googly-moogly, the commercials! They never end!

They're trying to push the suspense of the Oscars. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Oh, Viola Davis. It's Vera Wang, but... I just don't think it's as awesome as the Golden Globes dress. Heck, you decide.

Maya Rudolph. Uh. Hm. Well, at least you wore decent foundation garments.

Glenn Close in a fancy suit. Really nice! Fabulous. Varying finishes and textures, all in the dark green. So awesome.

Chick (Leslie Mann) complaining about a tight dress. SERIOUSLY? What, you couldn't find anything else??

Diddy getting groomed by some hyper dude with a dust roller. Diddy's ignoring him. Freaky body language stuff. Whoa.

ANOTHER BRIDESMAID. OKAY. I'M NEVER SEEING THE MOVIE. FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO LOOK AT. Good gourd.

Kelly, we aren't interested in your opinion of George. SHOW ME CLOTHES.

People keep TALKING TO ME. Trying to concentrate here! Ah!

Rooney Mara. STAND UP STRAIGHT. QUIT SLOUCHING. WASH THE TEN POUNDS OF LACQUER OUT OF YOUR HAIR. GET OFF MY LAWN. Givenchy. Feh. The hair, the too-dark lipstick, the dress makes her look like a board or a fifteen year old boy.

Rarely have I seen so many badly fitting dresses in one place. How many stylists were involved, and these dresses don't fit??

Octavia Spencer. Lovely. Sparkle, fit, hair, everything. Perfect.

Hour two of really super lameass superficial 'interviews'.

Melanie Griffith looks like a cartoon of herself. Is that Botox talking?

Commentators are fussing and fawning some more. Bluuuurgh.

Socks by K Mart. Okay. Thanks for that, Sacha. (Dude. You're nuts.) He's claiming the gold urn is Kim Jong Il's ashes, to be scattered over Halle Berry's cleavage. Then he dumped it on Ryan Seacrest and got hauled out by security. Not sure if that was staged or not. Points for dumping on Seacrest, though. Wish I could do it myself. Nice publicity stunt. I'm waiting to see how fast this trends on Twitter. (About ten minutes.)

Dear gods, Melanie Griffith, LAY OFF THE COLLAGEN. You look like a muppet.

Black dress. Snore. Least it fits. I think.

JLO MY LOVE! You know how to dress! Yes, it's shiny and over the top. She's presenting an OSCAR! If ever there was a night to overdress, it's tonight! (Zuhar Murad dress.)

If you're a stylist, why do you look like shit?

More armpit boobs and dresses not moving while the body underneath does. Feh.

Emma Stone. Dude. What... DUDE. The neck floof? Very seventies. Well, at least it's color.

E keeps discussing the same six dresses over and over and not showing anyone else. I'm positive there are more people there. Even if the McQueen gown is awesome, I still want to see SOMEONE ELSE.

I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK. SHOW ME SOME CLOTHES.

Well, this was a waste of time. We've got four women talking about clothes. I've got the commentary I want on Twitter. All I want from E is clothing coverage. This is like the opposite of what I want. Whine bitch moan complain.

Eight o'clock. Half hour to go and they're talking about clothes and not showing them. Blarg.

Natalie Portman in a polka-dot red prom dress. She can wear anything, but it's awfully prommy.

More blah blah about dresses we've already seen. Blah blah.

Gwenneth Paltrow in a lovely white dress AND A CAPE. Looks like Calvin Klein... She's another who can wear anything. Plain, but she's Gwenneth freakin' Paltrow. She don't need no freakin' ornament.

Mila Jojovoich, in another white one-shoulder dress. Again, former model who can wear anything. Fits decently, and she knows how to wear it. Plus she'll kick my ass if I say anything negative.

Still can't reconcile Kelly Osborne's tats with her fancy dress. I've got a tat, I know, I know. But it looks weird.

SHOW ME SOME CLOTHES!!!

Someone Ferris. Black sequins. Sleeves, high neck, feh. Kinda boring.

Anyone still reading, I'm impressed. 'Cause I'm sick of watching.

They're talking to Jay Leno. Who in hell cares about Jay Leno? We're here to see clothing!

Sandra Bullock in Marchesa! Fitted skirt (good), loose blouse sorta thing (ugh). Gold lace styling... She looks okay. Not sure 'okay' is what she was going for on Oscars night.

Penelope Cruz looks magnificent in Armani. As always. Fitted beautifully, lovely hair, perfect outfit. THIS is how you dress for the Oscars.

Cameron Diaz with a badly fitted sheath, slouching, with bias ruffling on the skirt. The slouch really bugs me. She was a model! She should do better than that.

Where's Bjork? I wanna see a swan dress.

"As we're sewing her into the dress in the limousine..." Oh, for crying out loud.

Angelina Jolie in black. Again. There's a shock. I like the drape and the fitting, though. It is a pretty dress. She looks happy. It's hard to look bad with a smile like that.

More blah blah. I bet there's people wearing clothes around there. Bet.

Olivia Wilde, wearing a really boring black dress, though it does fit magnificently. Silly black belt.

Okay, more gushing and blah blah. Shutting down.

That concludes the Oscar red carpet. If you enjoyed it, ten points for making it to the end.

The Zauberball keeps me sane. Ish.

This is gonna be a bullet point post, because, well, you'll see why.

•Monday, went to PT/OT. They agreed I've got future problems brewing. The upshot: visits twice a week for six weeks.

•Monday night, realized the new PT exercises set off the fucking RSD.

•Monday night, ran a virus scan on my computer. It was acting weirdly. Deleted three viruses.

•Tuesday, fought urge to kill people because my hand felt like it had been ripped off.

•Tuesday morning, another virus scan came up clean.

•Tuesday afternoon, near as I can tell, the computer deleted its own hard drive. I cannot find any sort of OS on it, not even DOS.

•Did I mention, my fucking hand hurts like hell?

•This afternoon, the kid told me she didn't feel well. I'll skip the details, but she's sick.

•Went into The Pit to find my old lap top. Found it. Not the first clue where the power supply is.

•Am blogging from the Kindle Fire. I hate touch screens.

Now, I'm going to go knit. So I don't kill people.

There are no words.

To describe my adoration for Crazy Zauberballs. I hit Natural Stitches today and bought two more.

I'm knitting another Half-A-Washcloth shawl. (This makes three.) Because on bad days, even stripes (Watson Scarf) is too complicated.

So sad.

While I was there, I lost my head (I swear it's the yarn fumes) and bought this:

HALF A POUND of merino/angora/bamboo blend. In purple. That fiber blend says socks to me... with luck I'll get enough yardage to do ankle socks for me AND the Goob. (Last half pound I spun, I got 500 yards. It's possible.)

---

In other news, yesterday was vaccination day for the Goob. Screaming, crying, fever, crying, oh dear gods. I admit it, I'm a marshmallow. It destroys me when that happens. So, the Goobie was wrapped up on the couch and given unrestricted time with the Kindle Fire.

I may have also treated her to some early Easter candy. And made her favorite for dinner (cheese quesedillas). And gave her an awesome Perry the Platypus bandaid for her arm.

Yeah, marshmallow. It's my widdle baby.

Excuse me. I have to go knit some more and see what color rolls off the Crazy Zauberball next.

Ah, romance.

For Valentine's day, I got these:

Wolverine boots. Waterproof ones, with Thinsulate. I went to the grocery store this morning, in the cold and rain, and my feet STAYED WARM. Absolutely wonderful. And they'll last longer than flowers. (Hub gloated to his buds at work, while they were buying flowers and candy, he took me to the boot store. Hee.)

I've been sloooowly knitting the Watson Scarf:

Really slowly. Half the time I can't make a fist, so that's a lot of knitting time, gone.

OT appointment Monday. I'm hoping the news isn't too bad.

The Goob has been like this today:

I think it's a growth spurt; she's also been eating everything in sight.

Today I got a copy of the new Principles of Knitting. YES! It has finally been printed, after years of postponements! I've given it a quick flick-through, and a lot of holes have been patched. (For instance, there was no mention I remember, at all, of medallion knitting in the original. This time, there's math and cast-ons and other discussion.) Cast-ons listed have gone from around ten to about eighty. I've had enough requests, I think I'm going to do a comparison with the old one, and a review for everyone. But for thirty bucks, how can you possibly go wrong?

Finished!

Another shawl. (That's Sekhmet in there for scale.) I've really been wearing them, especially in bed at night. (The blue one looks sooper klassy with my usual biker tee shirts. I'm sure this one will, too.) It's interesting; this is one of the yarns I dyed myself, in Charleston. It was wound in a ball, and the outside layers of it, the pink faded a bit. You can see it, along the edge:

Still, for years-old hand dyes, that's not bad. 880 yards of laceweight on size fives, for anyone curious.

I've started on the Watson Scarf.

I'm darning in the ends as I go, but I like to wash the knit and wear it a bit before snipping the ends. That way the yarn can 'set' and felt together a little bit, so the ends of the yarn stay where I put them and don't pull loose. (This is Cascade 220, regular, so it WILL felt a tad. For other fibers, I do different stuff.)

Um, otherwise? I got nothin'. Had a bad pain flare over the weekend, combined with a caffeine overdo, so I've been sozzled. AND KNITTING! WHEE!

A spot of history.

Back in the day (the 1940s), there were computers* being used in the world war. The UK was using a massive tube device - when it worked - called Colossus to decrypt messages. Bletchley Park was the place. In the US, we were using ENIAC to figure out trajectories for artillery shells.

Get that last bit? Artillery trajectory. One of the first uses of computers was trajectory. (The Bletchley Park stuff is VERY cool, but not relevant to my ramblings. Sorry, Limeys.)

After the war, people continued fooling with computers. Obviously. By 1947, someone had filed a patent for a "Cathode Ray Amusement Device". I guess "video game" didn't occur to them. What was the game? A simulation of a missile range - you try to hit the targets.

In 1958, they'd gotten a working model put together and changed the format marginally, calling it "Table Tennis".

(Image from Wiki Commons.)
That should be recognizable, right? To at least most of us. We called it "Pong".

By 1961, MIT students (of course) were playing something they called "Space War!" With a bit more tinkering, it became "Asteroids" which you REALLY ought to recognize.

(Image from Wiki Commons.)
Asteroids was released to an appreciative audience in 1979; there was a lot of stuff between Space War and Asteroids, but you're following me, right? All this is based on that original computer work done with trajectory calculation.

Since then, it's been a long progression of that original artillery game, with better graphics. The latest one is the most popular video game running, right now. (Image from Rovio.)

That's right. The new awesome thing is based on the world's first Cathode Ray Amusement Device, over sixty years old.

Enjoy your historically significant video game. Playing it on the most high-tech devices the world can offer. (Your smart phone? More computing power than the entire fleet of space shuttles.)

---

*Depending on how we define computers, we can be here all day and on into April, discussing the history of computing, all the way back to the Sumerians. I'm starting with tube devices forward, and you can't stop me.

The new member of the family.

A couple weeks ago, the in-laws came through for a quick visit, and my MIL showed me her birthday present: An iPad. It was nice. Really nice. I liked it a lot. In fact, my first thought was "That would be perfect for the Goob."

Then I looked them up and saw the cost.

I didn't have a stroke. Quite.

So then, I started researching. Because I'm me, and it's what I do. Behold:

A Kindle Fire.(And space monkey pajamas, but the PJs aren't new.) When I opened the box, it turned itself on. I named it HAL.

It does everything we wanted it to; the Goob can watch her school videos on it. That was a biggie. She just sat here for an hour like this:

That's the PBS kid's web site. She likes to play the games, and takes breaks to watch videos.

She and the hub have been playing Angry Birds of all kinds like fiends. I've almost beaten Plants Vs. Zombies. Laying in bed watching TV shows on it is nice. And the other day, I ACTUALLY READ A BOOK ON IT.

It's an Android platform with full internet capability. Everyone: Speak to me of knitting apps.

---

Last week's rant on digital piracy got a lot more attention than I expected. Really, it was just a roar of frustration more than any sort of orderly discussion. I'll probably do a followup in the next couple days to try and state things more coherently, because obviously some folks didn't quite get it.

Oh, and the dude who compared digital piracy to rape? You're a flaming asshole. You missed COMPLETELY missed the point, but damn. You're an asshole.

Yarrr.

Piracy, copyright, profit, and kiss my ass.

Yes, yes. Content stealing is bad, and we're all going to hell. And God(s) kill a kitten every time you download a torrent. And, you know what? Fuck them.

Not the content producers, no. Not the worker bees who truly make the stuff. Them, I want to give what money I've got to spend. No, I'm talking about the distributors of the content, who make it hard to get, then piss and moan when we download it off the internet.

Here's an example that's going on right now.

The BBC (British telly) is running a VERY popular show, Sherlock, its very much anticipated second season of three shows. All three were run in January. In the UK. In the US, we're supposed to wait until... well, hell, I can't even find the information. Sometime in the summer, I believe. So American audiences, who've been slavering over this show for a YEAR, have to wait to see it, while their UK friends squeal and slip and give out spoilers. Yeah, right.

People who've never downloaded a bittorrent in their lives are getting Sherlock and watching it. And you know what? Good for them.

The BBC would whine about this. They DO whine about this. You know what? It'd be easy as hell to solve - SHOW IT ON MY BLOODY TELLY. We've got BBC America in this great godforsaken land, they could have shown it simultaneously in both places with little or no trouble, and made a bundle of advertising revenue. No. They stall the release and everyone on the internet illegally downloads it. WHY IS THIS NOT SEEN AS THE BBC'S STUPID DAMN FAULT? Because IT IS. We'd all happily watch the show on their channel WITH THEIR COMMERCIALS, BUT WE CAN'T.

Fuck them and their stupid, archaic business model. They deserve to lose money.

How about another one, for fun?

Disney. Disney DVDs of classic movies like Fantasia and the like. They have this stupid, fucked up, idiotic program where they release the DVDs for a limited time only. If you don't buy it then, you have to wait another ten years. In the mean time, you have a kid, and your five year old wants to watch Sleeping Beauty (or whatever) and YOU CAN'T GO OUT AND BUY THE BLOODY DAMNED DVD BECAUSE FUCKING ASSHOLE DISNEY ISN'T SELLING IT. So you torrent it, or you buy a used copy (Disney has tried for years to make purchasing used DVDs either illegal, or requiring a second royalty payment).

What I said above about fuck them and their archaic business model? FUCK THESE ASSHOLES AND THEIR ARCHAIC BUSINESS MODELS. You want me to buy your stuff? SELL THE GODDAMN STUFF YOU FUCKING MORONS.

And one last one, just to round it out into a trilogy of ranting profanity.

Harry Harrison's Deathworld Trilogy. Originally published in the sixties. The first two are available in print (anthologies) and digital form. The third book cannot be had for love or money in any media. WHAT IN FUCK IS UP WITH THAT. It should be illegal to make the first two books of any trilogy available, and not the third. I would pirate that bitch like Bluebeard on a Spanish galleon, if it was available, but it's not.

So, in summary.

I WOULD DEARLY LOVE TO BUY SOME SHIT BUT THESE MOTHERFUCKERS WON'T SELL IT. Then they whine and piss and moan and try to pass draconian laws and make up ridiculous figures of money lost. They are living in the 1960s with their business model, and they deserve to loose revenue for the way they AREN'T SELLING their content. FUCK THEM.

When it comes to stuff I can actually buy, I do. Especially books, because I know that my money does go, in part, directly to the author. And book publishing is actually trying to keep up with changing formats and content use. (Not perfectly, but they're trying.)

Anyway. Piracy. They're asking for it.

Grrr, ar. I'm gonna go kick a parrot.

Problem solving.

Everyone seemed to think video of themselves knitting was a clever idea, for identifying problems. I thought I'd outline the two secrets to coming up with this kind of stuff.

First, look at it a different way. I learned this one doing bookkeeping. Won't add up? Add from bottom to top. Or left to right. Turn the page sideways. Something. Or, have someone stand in front of you with a video camera and record you, knitting.

Second, for some problems, it works better to make a list of exactly what you need. What's the priority here? About ten Thanksgivings ago, I was trying to figure out the Gravy Problem. You know, the gravy boat isn't big enough, and it always gets cold. I determined I needed something 1. larger, and 2. with a lid. Eureka. Since then we've served gravy in the tea pot. Works beautifully.

---

In other news, we were finishing up the Goob's winter nine-week period, scanning things and uploading them to the school. Since it was RIGHT THERE in the scanner, I got this for all of you:

Good times.

A knitting exercise.

I've been having increasing problems with my hands... and the big problem is problems with my LEFT hand. Which is Really Bad, because that's supposed to be my 'good' hand. It was especially painful after knitting. I couldn't quite figure out what in hell was going on. What to do?

I had the hub take video of me while I was knitting.

Pretend there's a video of me knitting here. I'd love to post it, but Blogger AND Flickr are both refusing to accept it. Buggering fucks.

Here. Have a photo instead. Me knitting:

It looks pretty good. Nothing's twisted around horribly, doing unnatural motion, or anything like that. Fingers are in natural, half-curved positions. However.

Pay close attention to my left hand and wrist. See how it's sort of twisted outward? For no apparent reason (it doesn't help my grip, motion, yarn management, anything), it's just bent. Backward. Wrist bent backward. Yeah, THAT sounds like a problem.

Imagine your ligaments and tendons are rubber bands. Some of them stretch from your elbow down to your fingers. Many more run from your upper arm down through your wrist. Any bending of your wrist (especially backward) stretches those tissues. See?

Not good. It's squishing your radial and ulnar nerves. Gee, that might MAKE IT HURT.

My new assignment: Quit twisting my wrist out while I'm knitting.

Now it's your turn. Get someone to video you, while you're knitting. Take a good, unbiased look at it. Are you twisting around, or bending at bad angles? Fix it. Your hands will thank you.

Mom is another word for sucker.

This is "Purple", the unicorn Pillow Pet. At Christmas, my kid informed me that Purple needed a mini Pillow Pet of her own. With everything going on, I didn't order it right away, but look at that. Like an idiot, I got my kid's Pillow Pet its own Pillow Pet. The Goob's calling it "Baby Purple". I'm calling it "Purpette".

Call me an idiot.

What I've been doing.

Really, it comes down to this:

Mario Kart 7. For the Wii.

I got it as a family present at Christmas, figuring we would all enjoy playing it. I was so, so right. These days we're playing a couple-five rounds before bed nearly every night (because the best way to get a six year old to sleep is wind them up with flashing lights and loud noises). It is a great family thing. All three of us line up on the couch together and race. We've even made a new rule - what gets said on the couch, stays on the couch. The Husbeast and I are known to cuss a blue streak. The Goober thinks we're a riot, but is surprisingly good with her own language. "Darn it!" is about the worst I've heard.

When I'm not frying my nervous system swerving around Koopas and fucking blue shells (FUCKERS), I've been at this:

Knitting the Half a Washcloth shawl (which I still need to turn into a .pdf and upload to the free pattern database on Ravelery) and reading. I'm reading a LOT. Now that my meds have been shifted, I can actually concentrate again, most of the time.

I've also been having a few technical difficulties with my latest obsession.

See the rainbow 'flash' on my nails? That's an effect known as "linear holographic" among nail polish geeks. (Yes, they are out there. Thanks to the internet, I've found some of them.) The linear holo is from a pigment that was originally developed for automobile paint, called spectraflair. These polishes are relatively hard to find, as these things go. Long story shorter, I was logged onto a Brazilian web site earlier tonight, trying to buy a couple bottles of it. Those people who say Spanish and Portuguese are similar? THEY LIE. I'm not sure whether I bought some or not; I'm waiting to see what goes through on the credit card at the start of business tomorrow. As for what it cost? Um, I don't know because it was in Rials instead of US dollars.

Explaining this to the Husbeast was, um, interesting. (His opening statement: "You're fired.") He's being remarkably patient about it, all things considered. But, really? I can't help but think: Strange international shipments with exchange rates I don't know, in languages I don't speak... feels like things are getting back to what we call normal around here.

Hee hee hee.

Blacking out.

(Image from here.)

January 18 is designated as an internet-wide day of protest. Websites everywhere, including biggies such as Wikipedia and Reddit are joining in. I'm a small fish, but I'm definitely supportive.

The issue - in case you hadn't heard - are two bills being debated in congress right now. The "Stop On-line Piracy Act" (SOPA) is in the House. The "Protect IP Act" (PIPA) is in the Senate. Both are being pushed by the recording industry, Hollywood, and other big-dollar lobbyists. The laws are too vague, too powerful, and have no policies spelled out for implementation. It gives content owners (lobbyists, essentially) the ability to BLACK OUT ENTIRE WEB SITES, without any appeal, any procedure, nothing. Just click and it's gone.

For instance: Say you're YouTube. Someone posts a recording they made of a Loony Toons cartoon. Instead of pulling or blocking the single cartoon recording (which is how it's handled now, fairly, IMHO), these laws would make it possible to completely black out the entire web site.

Technically, Ravelry could be shut down for copyright violation if someone posted a video of content they didn't own. Whole web site, poof. Because one twit on a message board violated copyright law.

Because there's nothing laid out in terms of logistics, requirements for a take-down, these bills could be used to black out or shut down anything the lobbyists don't like the looks of.

Censorship, in a word.

I've nothing whatsoever against copyright protecting peoples intellectual property. But shutting down whole sites based on the behavior of a single user who isn't even on staff? That's just insane.

You can read an excellent summary of the laws, HERE.

Don't like it? Good. Neither do I. The house has sort of backed down on SOPA, saying they would shelve it indefinitely. However, that still allows them to revive it at any time. And PIPA is still up for a vote in the Senate. You can track down your representatives, see where they stand on these bills, and e-mail their sorry asses. Here's a great web site for keeping track of congress.

Overseas? E-mail anyway. These bills would allow blacking-out of overseas sites, too, and certainly sites whose servers are in this country, that you use, to be shut down. Start with the guy in the senate who is sponsoring PIPA, Patrick Leahy.

The really alarming thing about this whole thing is reading the comments of the jerks sponsoring these bills, and realizing they're clueless about internet infrastructure and how the whole thing works. Really, really alarming.

Like most of the other political issues I blog about, I see this as a civil rights issue. It doesn't matter if you're liberal or conservative, Democrat or Republican, atheist or religious. You should have the right to say what you want, when you want, without Big Brother blocking your web site. So happy knitting, and I'll see you on the 19th.

ETA: Just found THIS WEBSITE, which is what's going on, all in one handy place. 

I'm normal.

I don't know why I find it so hysterically funny when I get a clean bill of health from a shrink, but I do.

With the new med switch-up, my pain doc wanted to be sure she wasn't masking symptoms of other problems, and sent me off to the shrink they've got attached to the chronic pain clinic. (Depression and chronic pain can look a lot alike.) That was this morning. Now my pain doc will be reassured and I'll build up a rep for being cooperative, and it's all good.

As I told the shrink, I didn't really WANT to do the appointment, but there's no good way to frame the "I don't need a shrink!" argument and sound sane. So, fine, Hi.

Besides, it was the responsible thing for my pain doc to do, and I should always support the responsible stuff, not just when it's convenient. Right?

Bah. Pain in the butt.

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ANYWAY.

I seem to have dyed the ugliest yarn in the history of the world. No, really. I've got this earth-tones thing going on in my living room, and I wanted some variegated yarn to knit this afghan with. And I wanted practice dyeing darker colors.

I wound up with fug.

It should look better knit up, but how could it look worse? (Don't answer that.)

Of course who knows when I'll get to it with the ten thousand other things I've got on the needles. At least it's starting to sound like me again, huh? Before you know it, I'll be setting myself ridiculous, arbitrary deadlines for no good reason.

A dilemma. Or three.

FINALLY I HAVE KNITTING CONTENT AGAIN.

My ability to concentrate is coming back. Which does very good things for the knitting. I've spent the weekend zoned out with a migraine, knitting another Half-A-Washcloth shawl.

...that's a ruler in there for scale. It's getting big. Many, many, glorious rows of garter stitch, perfect for this sort of thing. I started with 880 yards of yarn, and I doubt it's half gone yet, so this thing's gonna be even bigger than the last one, and it's about four feet long across the top.

Three months ago, I'd have stared at the walls or, at most, played Bejeweled.

When I don't have a migraine, I'm still slowly knitting on the PT Project.

I'm up to round 45 and slowly plugging away. I've discovered that if I wear my distance glasses AND my cheaters at the same time, I can focus on the TV, the knitting, and in the space where the two sets of lenses overlap, my pattern. Of course, then my nose gets sore. Of course.

Mind you, I haven't forgotten about that poor, poking-along KAL I'm supposed to be writing up, and I'm hoping to get my hand working well enough to get back to it before someone sneaks over here late one night and bonks me on the head with a #50. Which I richly deserve.

So, needless to say, I've got enough to do, especially since I'm still trying to get my hand working again after a year and a half of staring at walls.

But I've got this.

That's the yarn to knit a Watson Scarf from the newest Sherlock Holmes movie. (If you haven't seen it, the scarf actually has a role in the movie; Mary knit it for Watson, and at one point someone tries to take it from him and he punches them in the face. At that point, I knew I needed one.) I'd like to have it to wear this winter. And it'd be nice to upload it to the free pattern database sometime before the movie comes out on DVD.

AND. AND!

The Husbeast got me a set of Signature needles for Christmas. He accidentally ordered the wrong ones and they had to be exchanged. (He still gets mad props because he ordered them without so much as batting an eye at the cost.) The new ones got here today. Which means I SHOULD REALLY CAST ON A PAIR OF SOCKS RIGHT THIS INSTANT NOW NOW NOW. (May I add, the folks at Signature were super cool about the exchange and it was done as quickly as the Post Office could make it happen. Good customer service there. I say this because I bitch enough about the bad, so I feel obligated to mention the good.)

Except there's all this other stuff.

Weather being what it is, I'll probably wind up zoned and knitting on the shawl again. But... damn!

A spot of PT.

Due to spending the last year and a half asleep, my hand is screwy again. Still. Whatever. So I thought I'd start the year with some PT. (I also need to make an appointment for formal hand PT. Bah.)

No, really. It only looks like knitting. It's PT. I swear.

It's on quad-zero needles, with tatting thread. I think I was on round twenty, in that picture. See, lace is the way to do this, because there's no weight to lift. It's all about finger strength and dexterity. And without any weight, it actually makes my arm hurt less. Though it does make my fingers sore.

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In other news? The Goob is perfecting passive resistance.

This is me, making the Goob eat an apple. The Goob informs me the M on my shirt stands for 'mean', not 'Mom'.

I'm mean. Rawr. EAT YOUR APPLE!

To a new year.

I'm sure no one has missed the fact that it's been a rough year around here at House O Samurai. (For me. The rest of the family is chugging along in great good health and style.) We finally, FINALLY have finished the six month process of switching my main pain medication (FOUR MONTHS to wean off, two months to start the new one) and I really do feel like a new person. In the last week, I've accomplished more than the last six months. Boxes unpacked, things done. I'm CLEANING.

So that's it for my new year. START OVER. Start adapting this house to ME. Get the store room in the basement set up for ME. Plus the usual eat better and get off my ass stuff.

I really, REALLY feel like this is a new start, it just coincidentally starts at the new year. I'll take the symbolism and run with it.

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In need of more zombie knitting, since I cast off the Half-A-Washcloth Shawl, I started another.

This is leftover Samurai Knitter yarn, from my old (defunct) Etsy shop. 880 yards of lace weight merino yarn in color "Primrose". It's a light yellow with pink flung over it in random flecks. The pink blends in some places to peach, and in other spots is nearly fluorescent pink. Awesomeness.

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For Christmas, I got the Goob a sweatshirt. She loves it and wants the whole world to see it.

It's the T-Rex hoodie from Think Geek. (They also have a Raptor.) Rawr.

They also come in adult sizes.

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A happy, healthy new year to all.

Book Review!

Reading the Forested Landscape, by Tom Wessels

This is one I can't really tie in to the fiber stuff. I'm usually pretty good at that, dragging all subjects back to knitting and spinning. This one? I'm at a loss. There's some stuff in there about sheep, but it's about grazing and deforestation, not, you know, using the wool for stuff.

Anyway. The book.

Do you like trees? Forests? Woods? Do you wish you knew more about what went on there, in terms of how old the growth is, whether the land had been used before, like that? This is YOUR BOOK. Holy crap, it's amazing. The author is like the Sherlock Holmes of trees. (I don't know if his bio says that. It should.) Thanks to him, I am seeing the land around me in a whole new way. Fence rows. Pasture trees. Crop field vs. hay field vs. pasture. Beavers. (No, really.) ALL THIS COOL STUFF.

Wanna know what a field was used for? If it's old, look at the stone fence nearby. Only regular plowing (for crop fields) works small stones to the surface. So a crop field's stone wall will have little stones in it. A hay field or a pasture would only contain the larger rocks pulled out of the soil to level the field. IS THIS COOL OR WHAT? Sherlock Holmes stuff, people!

You should see me, riding around in cars these days. I kinda hang out the window. The place where I grew up? ALL sorts of logging about a hundred years ago. The field down the hill, with the farm house in it, has been cleared land for at least a couple hundred years. (You can tell by the way the giant trees on the property have grown.) I spotted a tree struck by lightning, on the turnpike.

If you like trees? You want this. Seriously. Even the husbeast has found the info I've relayed interesting, and he considers trees annoying things he has to mow around. SHERLOCK. HOLMES.

The hits!

From Christmas. 'Cause we had a great holiday. (So great I've been sleeping like DAMN.)

We spent two days in Ohio with the in-laws, visiting with hub's bro, SIL, and kids. I gave one of the kids a Glow Dome from Crayola. They're pretty cool; it's a clear dome with little LEDs along the edges, that make whatever you color into the globe, glow.

The Goob and her eldest cousin bickered, bitched, and fought over it like siblings. Then we came home and I gave the Goob one of her very own. There was much shouting and dancing.


Then there is the Spot It! card game. I really wanna tell youse with kids about this one, because it is amazing.

It's one of those rare games you can explain in a minute or less, and it's as fun for adults and children. Each person gets a card, then they try to be the fist to match things from your card, to the central card being flipped over. We played two rounds in about five minutes, before dinner tonight. I think the Goobie laughed the whole time Also, affordable for birthday gifts and stuff. Whee!


For me, the husbeast got the entire Girl Genius book collection. I was psyched.

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you already know. But, when we did this last move, my ball winder disappeared. Still know exactly where my swift is, but no idea on the winder. So for the last year and a half, two years, every time I had to wind a ball of yarn BY HAND, I'd Tweet "Anyone seen my ball winder?" So guess what I got for Christmas? I'd post a pic, but it's a plain old blue and white Royal ball winder. I've already used it.

Hubby also got me a set of Signature needles, but accidentally ordered the wrong size. They're in the mail for a return, but I'm still saying YAYAYAYAYAY! I think I'm gonna love them. (Size 1 DPNs, 7" long, for socks.)

Oh, and I have a new lap desk.

Ha, kidding. It's a really old lap desk.

Free shawl pattern!

A free shawl pattern, for Christmas. For those bloggers who've hung in this year through the chaos.

It's very simple. In fact, here's the pattern right here:

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THE HALF-A-WASHCLOTH SHAWL:

Cast on five stitches. Knit back.
*Slip one, knit one, yarn over, knit to end.*
Repeat the directions between the asterisks above.
When you're nearly out of yarn, cast off loosely.

This specific shawl uses two Crazy Zauberballs and measures approximately four feet across the top edge. It was knit on size five needles.

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There ya go. I've got Scribus fired up and am putting this in a (likely one page) PDF file, so I can upload it to Ravelry.

For those wondering, here's the washcloth pattern:

BIAS-KNIT WASHCLOTH:

CO 5 sts. K back.
Sl1, K1, YO, K to end.
Repeat, working until you've used up half your yarn. Then,
SL1, K1, YO, K2tog, K to last 5 sts, K2tog, K to end.
Repeat until you're down to 5 sts, bind off.

Enjoy!

That time of year.

For three years now, the Goober has gone to Ohio near Christmas, gotten gussied up, and gone to a Christmas party with her grandma. Today was the day, this year.

She picked out the dress. We walked into the store, and she saw it and said "OOOO! Purple SEQUINS." I said we needed to find a dress with sleeves. Being a good kid, she didn't argue. But we poked around and none of the other dresses worked. (What is it with no sleeves this year?!?) So, since nothing else worked better... what the hell. We got the dress she liked. (Life is short. You're only six once. Purple sequins are required.)

Then we rounded it out with tights covered in little hearts, and these:

I would so totally wear a pair of these. I posted the picture to Twitter the other day with the caption "GLITTER SHOES!" and everyone said they weren't sure whose feet would be in the shoes.

They have Hello Kitty charms on them, too.

Maybe I can get some Chucky T's and paint them with glitter.

Marsh Mallows

See, now about 1/4 of you are laughing, and the other 3/4 are going "whaaaaat?"

Yes. That, above, is a marsh mallow. They are native to northern Africa, but it's been naturalized just about everywhere. All the way back to the ancient Egyptians, it was used medicinally. The roots produce this goo ('mucilage') that soothes sore throats and helps acidic upset stomach. Some folk used it on their skin, like a moisturizing lotion. They're also grown all over as an ornamental; see how pretty they are? They're related to hollyhocks, hibiscus, and even (distantly) chocolate.

Back in the day (a couple-three hundred years ago), French confectioners used the goo in the roots to make what we know as proto marchmallows-the-candy. They'd whip the goo, add sugar, and other flavorings like rosewater.

These days, since marsh mallows aren't easy to farm, we imitate htem instead with egg whites instead of root goo.

Hmmm. Homemade marshmallows for Christmas, instead of some of the cookies. Yeah. I can do that.

Hmm.

Well, I spent last night and today fooling around and I can still knit. I mean, knit for more than ten minutes at a time.

It's got to be very small gauge; small and light. I assume that's because it's lighter in weight and the actual motions themselves are smaller. Even Cascade 220 is too heavy at this point. But sock yarn is working.

With luck I'll get drugged up next week so I can finish this KAL before you guys start sending me felted wool and broken knitting needles in the mail.

This also means the Christmas knitting is dead in the water. Luckily it was just a couple felted bags; I can work around that. But this will be the first year with NO knitted gifts in a long time.

Maybe if I drug up successfully I can knit a hat or two.

Keep your fingers crossed for Toradol. It would make a great Christmas gift.

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I keep forgetting to mention... remember the deer?

Up the road, we've got an archer. He's got a little range set up in a field; most of the year, he uses one of those modified hay bale targets. But for the month or so leading up to deer hunting season, he uses a deer target. It's an actual fake deer, stuffed with something to make it shootable.

About a month ago, the deer target got the attention of a real deer. Real deer gored the hell out of the target, tore it up, and probably peed on the pieces.

These are the same deer that like to lay around in my back yard.

Lately I'm worrying less about the freaking bear in the area.

Frustrated.

And sad. And kind of worried.

This is how far I've gotten on my annual winter socks from scratch. I haven't knit anything.

I really can't make a fist with my hand. Given a minute or so, I can carefully assemble my fingers in a ball, but it takes concentration and care. Not what you'd call a fist.

We're still screwing with my medication, but I'm starting to worry if it never gets fixed.

Yesterday, I went and bought this:

Iridescent tinsel. Even it's not enough to get me spinning. (Though, if at all possible, I am spinning this into lace weight and knitting SOMETHING crazy with it.)

How about something happier? Yes. Let's do happier.

We got the Christmas tree put up. The Goob did most of it. It's her thing.

She's been sick (the sore-throat-and-sniffles deal, nothing major), which just adds to the whole event.

First thing when the tree went up, the Goob asked "Are we going to use my star?" Years ago, when she was maybe two, the Christmas tree topper got broken. I don't even remember what it was. I had the Goober color some paper with crayons and a glitter pen, then rigged up a star with tape and cardboard.

It has survived to top the tree another year. The Goobie gets a big charge out of it, so I'm trying to figure out a way to laminate it, or something, to keep it indefinitely. But for now, it's safe at the top of the tree.

Maybe I'll drug up and see if I can knit. Or spin. Or bake. Or something. Painting my nails as my only creative outlet just isn't cutting it. (Pain doc appointment next week.)

GET ME A PEN

I've been thinking about it since I wrote yesterday's blog post. People turned to me for advice on writing their senators and representatives, for looking up congressional info, and... I knew the answers. Before this, I'd never really seen my penchant for writing snarly letters to elected officials as a protest, but you know, it is. In my mind, a protest involves picket lines and chanting and possibly mild violence of the 'throw a few punches' type. But then, my dad was a member of the UAW (United Auto Workers union), so I suppose it's not shocking that image was in my mind.

Writing seemed more civilized to me, and I don't know what I thought of it as. But it's a protest as surely as waving a sign at city hall.

See, this is all Ralph Regula's fault.

He was my congressman, where I grew up. We had a great government teacher at my high school, and she and Ralph would organize government orientations, for lack of a better word. I've actually met the guy; he retired in 2009 after 18 terms in the House. While I didn't agree with everything he ever did, he was an old-school politician who actually acted like a public servant.

With all that, then, it didn't seem odd at all to me, to write a letter or call his office when there was something I was unhappy about going on in office.

Then I married the husbeast and moved to Virginia, just in time for the Ollie North vs. Chuck Robb senate race. You remember Ollie North, the "I was just following orders" dude from the Iran-Contra hearings? Him, running against Chuck Robb, who was almost a cartoon of a corrupt southern politician. I spent about a year writing nasty letters to both Robb's offices and North's campaign offices. I don't remember if I refused to vote, or if I voted and wrote in Kermit the Frog. (I do a lot of both.)

Then on to Hawaii, and again, letters fired off to relevant people. I actually got into a face-to-face confrontation with one of the congressmen while I was there. Do not rag on the enlisted military in my presence, I will chew your face off.

Well, you get the idea. Apparently I've been protesting with the pen rather than the picket sign all this time and it just never occurred to me.

So, it's time to protest some more.

The bill discussed in yesterday's post? S.1867? It passed in the senate today, a vote of 97-3. There's a petition to impeach every senator who voted in favor of it. You can sign it, here. (The internet makes all this with-a-pen protesting much easier and faster.) While I don't think they will impeach the entire senate, I DO think that thousands of signatures on that WILL get their attention. It's a small thing. It's an easy thing. If you're outraged, go sign it.

I hope the president vetoes this thing or I'm going to be writing in Kermit the Frog again next year.